Healing
by DutchLady
Summary: WARNING: EXPLICIT VIOLENCE. RATED M FOR A REASON. For eight months his entire world consisted of two small rooms. But suddenly there she was and he knew that Martha would keep him safe. WILL NOT BE CONTINUED. THIS VERSION OF THERAPY IS OVER.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello readers, I'm back. I'm sorry I have been away, I've had a difficult time of late. So difficult I had to have profesional help. When I told her of my love for Doctor Who, and writing fanfiction for that, she suggested I put my fears into a new story. I am scared of putting it up here, it is basically me coming to terms with my demons. My therapist even said that I caused the Doctor pain, in retaliation to the pain I felt, but didn't experience. I know that I'm not making sense, please forgive me for that. The following story is extremely violent and angst-full. If that is not your cup of tea, turn away now. If you don't heed this warning and give me grieve for it, you can expect an earfull._

**WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC MATERIAL COMING UP. **

For the past eight months his world had consisted of two small rooms. The first room meant pain; physical and emotional. He would be tied up, tortured and raped. He would be injected with a drug that caused him to hallucinate, to see his friends die in the most horrible ways. The second room meant refuge; refuge from the pain. It was the room in which he escaped from the horror.

Two men came into his sanctuary and stripped him naked; he already knew what was going to happen, the only thing he didn't know if the feeling would be hot or cold. He was dragged into the first room, the pain that shot through his shins didn't register anymore. His hands were tied to the chains that hung from the ceiling, causing him to be forced to stand on his feet; which meant that he had to put weight on his broken ankle and skinless soles of his feet. Again he ignored the pain as much as possible, and retreated into his own mind. From a distance he felt that the blindfold was removed, but he kept his eyes closed. A hand grabbed his chin and female lips were pressed onto his. Another hand –small, quite possible the same woman who was kissing him- rested on his hip and was slowly moving towards the crack of his bum; his cheeks were parted and something was rammed into him. He couldn't identify the object, but it was sharp. He felt blood trickle down his inner thighs. He tried to squirm away from the lips there were still on his and from the foreign object in his body. The hand on his chin was removed and he was slapped hard. Out of nowhere an electrical current coursed through him; he screamed. The pain was intensified as a bucket of water was thrown over him, he screamed louder. His eyes shot open, but the blinding light that was right in his face caused him to close them immediately. The object was suddenly pulled from his rectum, giving him some relief. He gasped in pain.

He felt a body next to his; the blindfold was tied back around his head. The same body came closer and he felt hands on his wrists. The cuffs were suddenly opened and he slumped to the concrete floor, where he remained. In the early days he had tried to get up, but had given up on that when he discovered that that meant even more pain.

He was dragged back to his sanctuary, and dumped on the floor. He curled into a ball, his head resting on his arm. He lay there, hoping for a reprieve, needing a gentle touch, praying for his friends.

He was awoken from a light slumber; still naked, he hadn't been given permission to put the tattered remains of his clothes back on, by the same two men dragging him back to room one. He was released and left alone. This disconcerted him, this had never happened before. He had never been alone in this room before. With the blindfold still on –he daren't remover it- he strained his ears. No, he wasn't alone. He could hear breathing; male.

"Stand," the man whispered.

He gasped. No one ever spoke to him. He was always shoved and hurt when he didn't do what he was supposed to do. He managed to stand up unaided and shook slightly as he stood. The man was circling the room; he daren't circle too, so he remained rooted to the spot.

Suddenly the sound of a whip cracked in the air. He was hit on the chest. He screamed in agony, and his knees buckled.

"Stand."

He breathed through the pain, and stood up. Again he was hit, this time across his stomach. He doubled over, his arm around his stomach, his hand on his knee.

The man suddenly let the whip come down on his back. He arched backwards, leaving his chest and stomach exposed, and he was hit on his torso for the second time. He screamed in pain and collapsed.

"Stand."

He remained on the floor for a few more moments, but wasn't fast enough to get back to his feet. The whip cracked through the air, and he felt it on his back. He curled into a ball and remained on the floor. The whip cracked over and over again. It hit him on every part of his body that the whip could reach. He felt blood flow freely from every wound. He whimpered and lost consciousness.

He woke up; he was tied to a table, face down. Somebody was stitching the wounds on his back, bum and legs without an anaesthetic. When the person was done, two pair of hands untied him, and he was dragged from the table. His knees hit the floor, hard, but the people didn't heed the grunt of pain that escaped him. He was dragged back to room one and thrown to the floor.

He heard two men circle him. He cowered on the floor as the two men lashed out, both beating him with what felt like iron rods. He felt stitches giving way, and blood once again trickled down his sides. He imagined it hitting the floor.

Out of nowhere, a gunshot rang out. There was the distinct sound of a body meeting concrete. Another body hit the ground; softer this time, but still distinct.

Then the gentle touch he so craved came; there was a gentle hand on his shoulder. Behind his blindfold, he opened his eyes. The harsh light was gone, and the world was pitch black. A hand was on his head and removed the blindfold. In fear he closed his eyes.

A hand was placed over them, and a soft voice spoke.

"Keep your eyes closed or you could damage your retinas."

He was so scared that he almost didn't recognize the voice; almost. For a moment he had thought that they had come up with a new way to hurt him, but he had recognized that voice, and now that he gave it some thought, he recognized that hand, that gentle hand that was on his shoulder.

"Martha…?" he whispered, his voice hoarse from lack of use and screaming.

The hand squeezed his shoulder gently, and then he heard the best words anyone had ever said to him. They were so good, he started to cry.

"Yes, Doctor, it's me," Martha whispered in his ear.

He was safe.

-x—

It was two weeks after she had last seen the Doctor, so Martha had no reason whatsoever to worry about him. He had dropped her off at her fiancé's house after Messaline, and Martha had gone back to work at UNIT with the knowledge that Donna was going to help the Doctor with the pain of losing Jenny.

Out of nowhere Donna had shown up on doorstep in the middle of the night, accompanied by her mother and grandfather. Donna was in a terrible state and it had taken Martha quite some time to calm the woman down. But eventually Martha had been able to get the story.

Donna and the Doctor had landed in Chiswick, Donna had wanted to go and see her grandfather. The Doctor had liked the old man, so hadn't put up much of a fight. The Doctor had been feeling a little cooped up in the house, and had gone for a walk and never returned. Donna and her family had waited all night, and after Donna had checked the TARDIS –she had assumed that the Doctor had gone there to do some repairs and had simply forgotten the time- and hadn't found him there, so had started to get worried. And since she had no idea where to start looking for the Doctor, Donna had come to Martha.

Martha had gone to the TARDIS, in the hopes that he had turned up, but had found an empty TARDIS. And as she had stepped inside, Martha had known that something was wrong; the console room had been dark, the only light had come from the console itself, and the usual pleasant hum in the background was now higher in pitch. To Martha, it almost seemed like the TARDIS was possibly crying and in pain.

Martha had called Jack, and he and his team had come down to London. Martha had alerted UNIT as well of the Doctor's disappearance, but they had no idea on what to do. Jack had suggested alerting Sarah Jane, she knew the Doctor the best and maybe her supercomputer Mr. Smith would be able to track down the Doctor. But that hadn't worked either.

A week had passed, and the only ones still looking for the Doctor were his former and current companion. UNIT had given up, claiming that the Doctor probably wanted to be away for awhile, and even after both Jack and Martha had insisted that the Doctor would go nowhere without his TARDIS, they weren't willing to spare a few resources in order to help them. Jack had lost his temper and had stormed out of UNIT HQ, screaming that this was the thanks the Doctor was getting after all he had done in the past.

And Martha couldn't agree more. After Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart had returned from Peru, and had heard that he had missed the Doctor after the Sontaran business, the old man and Martha had sat down and swapped stories. Martha had been amazed and had been given clearance to read the old files concerning the Doctor, and she had read them with rapt attention. So the fact that UNIT was willing to abandon the Doctor so fast was something that Martha would never understand. She had gone to Colonel Mace, her direct commanding officer, and had handed in her resignation effective immediately. Colonel Mace had assured her that he understood, and didn't agree with HQ either and had promised that he would continue the search for the Doctor as well, albeit more secretive.

Martha had taken a part-time position at a small practitioners' office, and used her spare time to continue searching. She and Jack had managed to move the TARDIS into her backyard, but neither of them dared enter the sentient ship. The high pitched hum that the TARDIS had emanated just after the Doctor's disappearance had morphed into a high pitched wail as time had progressed, and neither of them could enter without causing massive amounts of discomfort to themselves.

Months went by, and still no sign of the Doctor. Jack and his team had returned to Cardiff, though Martha and Jack phoned every morning and evening. Jack and Ianto had dug into old UNIT files and had come up empty.

The first true breakthrough they had had was when Ianto had suggested to go through the old Torchwood files, specifically the old Torchwood London files. Jack had kissed the Welshman for the stroke of genius and along with Martha over a secure internet line, they had poured over thousands and thousands of files that Torchwood One had managed to create about the Doctor.

After two weeks they had hit the jackpot.

Martha had gone to the TARDIS, had opened the door and entered. She walked over to the console, and placed her hands on them. Through the high pitched sound that assaulted her ear drums, Martha could feel the warmth of the TARDIS.

"We found him," said Martha to the ceiling, and to her immense surprise the high pitch wail softened slightly and the console emanated more warmth to her hands. Martha stroked the console, like she had seen the Doctor do so many times. "I'll bring him back to you, promise."

Jack, Gwen and Ianto had been in London three hours later; two hours after that, the four of them had stood on an industrial site, an hour outside of London, looking at a warehouse. On the outside it seemed completely abandoned and rundown. All of the glass in the windows had been smashed, and as they had entered, the inside wasn't in very good shape. It was in such a bad shape that you could walk past it and not blink an eye.

It was an old warehouse that had belonged to Torchwood One, one of many all over London in fact. But the beauty of this one had been that underneath the warehouse was the place that the real stuff happened. What you saw up top was literally just the tip of the iceberg.

Martha, Jack, Gwen and Ianto had entered the lower levels through an emergency trapdoor and the far left side of the warehouse. Jack had, with the help from Sarah Jane's supercomputer Mr. Smith, managed to reprogram his vortex manipulator to register a Time Lord life sign and the second they had entered the lower levels the manipulator had picked up the signal. Within five minutes they had found the proper room.

Jack had kicked the door in and had gone in first along with Martha.

The sight that had greeted them would stay with Martha for the rest of her live. The room was about nine-by-nine feet. From the ceiling hung a chain with cuffs attached. The walls and floor were all concrete and covered in mud and blood. There had been three men in the room; two men were holding iron pipes and beating a naked man.

Martha instantly recognized the naked man as the Doctor, his body was peppered with bruises, scares, and with a glance Martha could tell that several of his limbs had been –and still were- broken in several places and hadn't healed properly.

Jack had already killed one man by shooting him in the head. Martha took care of the other one, she shot him with her tranquilizer gun. She was still a doctor and just wasn't capable of killing another human being, no matter what they had done.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she laid her hand on the Doctor's shoulder, and he flinched. Behind Martha, Jack turned off the blinding light, and she gave him an appreciative look and focused on the Doctor. She reached for the blindfold and removed it. Immediately the Doctor closed his eyes, and tensed even further. She covered his eyes with her hand.

"Keep your eyes closed or you could damage your retinas," whispered Martha.

The Doctor seemed to process her presence.

"Martha…?" whispered he back to her.

She almost didn't recognize his voice.

"Yes, Doctor, it's me," answered Martha as she squeezed his shoulder gently.

He leaned into her slightly and started to cry.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello readers, _

_Thank you for all of your heartfelt reviews. I am doing a lot better, and reading those reviews and feel your support made me feel even better. This chapter is for my Dad, my hero, the man who saved me from harm. I never knew my Dad could be scary. _

The Doctor felt Martha's arm move around him in a protective manner. He heard her call for someone called Ianto. He tensed. Who was Ianto?

Martha must have felt it, because once again she leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You can trust Ianto, he works with Jack. I trust him, too."

The Doctor nodded slightly. If Martha said she trusted this Ianto, that meant he could too, but could he really? He would have to.

So far, Martha was the only one who had touched him. Suddenly, Jack appeared by his side. He felt the immortal man put his hand on his shoulder.

"Doctor?" Jack said his voice lined with anger. Was the anger directed at him? "It's me, Jack. We're here now; we're getting you out of here. We're taking you back to the TARDIS."

The Doctor sighed in relief. He was going to the TARDIS. He was going to his girl, the only one with whom he could truly share what had happened to him. He once again felt Martha's hand on him; he had been so focused on the fact that he was going to the TARDIS that he hadn't even realised that she had been gone for a moment. But to feel her touch was heaven to him. Could he tell her the truth? Could he tell her what truly happened to him? Martha had never betrayed him; she had always been there for him. She had come for him now, along with Jack and someone called Ianto. He allowed himself another sigh as he realised that some of the drugs that they had injected him with were slowly dissolving in his system, and now he was able to think more clearly and already his brain was moving less sluggish.

Martha's voice roused him from his musings. "Doctor, Ianto is bringing a stretcher so we can carry you out more carefully."

He grabbed Martha's hand in a tight grip. His broken fingers screamed at him to let go, but he didn't; he had to feel her presence, make sure that this wasn't a hallucination, some trick that they were playing on him for their amusement. But Martha's hand felt so real.

The Doctor heard fast approaching footsteps, and grasped Martha's hand even tighter. His fingers protested, but he ignored the pain; by now he was so familiar with pain that this was easy.

"It's okay, Doctor," Martha said to him. "It's Ianto and Gwen with a stretcher."

"Stay," the Doctor said in a whimper.

Martha put her other hand over their already joint ones. "I'm not leaving you, I'll be right here. I'll keep holding your hand."

The Doctor whimpered. Carefully and ever so slowly, Martha helped him lie down on the stretcher. He still held Martha's hand tightly.

"Do you think you two can carry us both?" the Doctor heard Martha ask to, who he presumed were Jack and this Ianto.

He felt Martha lying down next to him. "I'm right here, Doctor," Martha said to him. "Jack and Ianto are going to carry us to the van and then we're going to the TARDIS. She's missed you. Gwen, who works with Jack as well, is going to walk beside us, she's making sure you can't fall of the stretcher."

The Doctor felt the stretcher being lifted and grabbed Martha's hand a little tighter. The pain in his fingers was getting worse. But he daren't tell, because he knew that if he complained about pain, they would hurt him more. But Martha was here with him, she would never hurt him. Maybe if he could see her?

"Martha…?" he croaked.

"Yes…"

"See you…" he whispered.

"What do you mean?" Martha asked.

The Doctor swallowed, "Need… to see… you… Need… know… real…"

The Doctor felt Martha's hand vanish from his face. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He blinked. All around him was darkness, but not so dark he couldn't see. Slowly, his sight adjusted to the dark and Martha's features became clear. He took her in; her face, her mouth, her eyes that were moist with tears. Everything about her was right, but better than that, everything about her was real.

"Real…" he muttered.

"I'm real…" Martha echoed.

-x-

Martha's heart was breaking for him as she held his hand. Her other hand she placed back over his eyes. As she lay next to him on the stretcher, she carefully caressed his cheek with her thumb, trying to comfort him. With tears in her eyes Martha observed him. The Doctor seemed broken to her; losing Rose had put a dent in him, the Year had hurt him, but still hadn't broken him. What had happened to him now had fundamentally broken him. Martha could feel that every muscle in him was tensed to the limit, and underneath her hand she could feel his eyes moving. Slowly she pulled her hand from his eyes and placed it around him and leaned in.

She could feel him tense even further.

"I'll cover your eyes again in a moment. We're going around a few corners. Once we're in the lift, I'll cover your eyes again. Am I hurting you?" she asked.

"Yes…" he answered. "But... need… touch…"

Martha welled up even more, and after a second she felt the tears falling freely.

"I'll keep you safe, I promise. I'll stay with you until you're all better, and then I'll stay for even longer," Martha assured him.

Jack and Ianto carried them into the lift. The light was bright, so Martha once again covered his eyes with her hand.

"This isn't really working," Gwen said.

Martha felt the Doctor tense. "Don't be scared, that's Gwen." The Doctor relaxed some. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that you keep covering his eyes," Gwen said. She pulled her bag towards her, and started rummaging. After a few moments she pulled a pair of sunglasses out. She passed them over to Martha, who carefully put it on the Doctor's face. "That's better."

The lift stopped, and Jack and Ianto swiftly carried the Doctor and Martha towards a waiting van. Gwen opened the backdoors and Ianto put the stretcher down on the floor of the van. He helped Jack slide the stretcher in completely and closed the doors.

The trip to Martha's house –no, the TARDIS- was pure agony for the Doctor, Martha could tell. He winced at every speed bump and tears came at every pothole. It was then that Martha realised that she would have no other option in treating all of his injuries, she had to put her plan into action.

As she continued to comfort the Doctor, they reached her house.

"We're here," she said to the Doctor. Her spirits rose a bit when the corner of his mouth raised a bit in a smile.

"Feel her…" he whispered.

"She's missed you," Martha assured him.

The backdoors of the van opened and Jack and Ianto appeared.

"We're here," Jack said. "Ready…?"

The Doctor didn't answer.

Martha called Gwen over and pulled the TARDIS key out of her pocket and handed it to her. Gwen rushed over to the TARDIS and unlocked the door. Martha let go of the Doctor's hand, assuring him that she wasn't going anywhere as he let out a small whimper. She climbed out of the van as jack and Ianto pulled the stretcher out.

Martha took the Doctor's hand again, as Jack and Ianto carried the Doctor to the TARDIS –which hum immediately shifted to a deep hum- , through the console room and into the medical bay. They gingerly set the stretcher down on a bed, turned around and left.

Martha pulled a chair closer, and sat down beside his head so they could look at each other properly. The Doctor reached up and removed the sunglasses. Immediately the TARDIS dimmed the lights. Martha took the glasses from him.

"You shouldn't move as much."

"Need to…" The Doctor took a breath, held it in and rolled onto his back. He turned his head towards the wall and stretched out his hand. Martha realised what he was trying to do. She stood up, reached over him and gently put his arm back on the bed. She looked under the bed and with her foot removed the brake from the wheel that was holding it in place. Martha pushed to bed to the wall.

The Doctor was unable to talk, but gave her an appreciative look. He reached out slowly and put his hand on the wall. The deep hum that the TARDIS was emitting changed pitch to a soft purr. To Martha it sounded like the TARDIS was sending all the 'love' the machine was feeling for her Time Lord to him.

Martha took a step back to give them a moment. In all her travels with the Doctor she had soon discovered that the link between those two was on a level that she would –and possibly _could_- never understand. But it wasn't a complete surprise to her; she had seen the TARDIS in distress over her Doctor during the eight months he'd been tortured. It had been like the TARDIS had been tortured too.

The Doctor turned his head to Martha; there were tears in his eyes. "Thank you," he said, but no sound came from his lips.

Martha closed the distance between them, and gently wiped a tear from his eye. She turned and quickly retrieved the chair, and sat back down.

"Please, Doctor, don't try to speak," Martha said. She took a deep sigh. "When you hadn't returned after two months, I started to truly worry about you. I knew that when I would find you, there was the possibility that you would need medical help. So with the TARDIS' help I managed to learn a lot about your race. She gave me a few books on Time Lord physiology, and I started learning."

The Doctor nodded in understanding. Martha sighed for a second time, she had formed a plan, and now she had to try and convince the Doctor.

"Doctor, I don't know what they did to you, but I do know how to help you."

Tears started to form in her eyes, she didn't want to say what she was about to say. "All of the bones in your body that have been broken haven't healed properly. If you heal in the state your body is in right now, it's likely that you will not be able to walk properly and move your arms and hands properly for the rest of this incarnation."

The tears were now truly falling. "Doctor, for you to heal properly… I would have to… break all of the bones… that haven't healed properly… put them in casts… and let them heal."

The Doctor was shaking his head, and there was clearly fear in his eyes. Fear of more pain. But Martha smiled at him through her tears. "I read up on your race, so I know how to put you into a medically induced coma…"

Martha felt relieved when the fear in the Doctor's eyes vanished. Martha brushed his tears away, then her own.

"I've thinking that I put you into that coma, I treat all of your injuries, and let you sleep until I can remove the casts."

The Doctor started to well up again. "No… pain…?" he whispered.

"No pain," Martha whispered back. "You'll go to sleep, and when you wake up your body will have mostly healed… and there will be no pain."

To Martha's immense relief, the Doctor nodded his consent.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor observed Martha as she prepared the sedative that would induce the coma. She sat back down next to him and held his hand as he slowly fell asleep.

The transition from consciousness to unconsciousness was completely painless. His body slowed and then shut down, but his mind was a different story. He felt that the TARDIS encompassed his mind and allowed it to drift out of his body.

The Doctor blinked.

Suddenly, he was an observer.

_Right, this is new_, he thought.

He watched as Martha held his hand until she was sure that he was asleep. She got up, moved her chair out of the way and pulled the bed he was lying on back to the middle of the room. Gently, she brushed his fringe away.

Martha turned away and started gathering all of the things she was going to need, and placed them on a trolley.

He watched as Martha pushed the trolley to his bed, and stopped. Martha grabbed the edge of the bed, and the Doctor was amazed that her knuckles turned lighter.

The Doctor was quite aware of what Martha was about to do him, so suddenly he realised that although Martha knew that quite well as well, that didn't mean she was going to like it. With a shock he realised that Martha was crying. He wanted to reach out and comfort her; assure her that it was okay; that what she was about to do was necessary.

Martha let out strangled sob, straightened her back and sighed deeply. She brushed her tears away, walked over to a cabinet, and pulled two surgical gloves from a dispenser that hung on the wall.

She walked back to the bed and glanced at the ceiling.

"TARDIS…?" she whispered. "You're up…"

The Doctor was slightly puzzled for a moment to what Martha meant, but suddenly he realised.

_Oh, Martha, you wonderful woman_, he thought. Adding a heartfelt _Thank you._

Martha had done her research well, and she knew that although he would feel no physical pain, his mind was a completely different story. The Time Lord mind was always aware of his surroundings, and Martha had known that the Doctor would effectively 'leave' his body, and would become an observer.

So the Doctor would know and more importantly see what Martha was doing to him.

And Martha, his wonderful and brilliant Martha, had known that that would hurt him mentally.

So he wasn't surprised when his world went dark as the TARDIS shielded him from what Martha was doing to his body.

Suddenly he was in the console room, but not _his_ console room. He was in his Fourth self console room with Sarah Jane.

He didn't really remember what they had been talking about, he couldn't even give it a proper point of time where this had happened. But he realised that the TARDIS wasn't trying to get him to remember specific points of his lives, but the emotion of the moment. The knowledge that he had friends who cared about him. Friends that would never hurt him.

Sarah Jane had always been a good friend to him. With her sharp mind and sharp tongue his Sarah Jane was a match for any alien they had encountered in their travels. And she had continued to use both those assets after they were forced to say goodbye to each other in her dealings with aliens that landed on Earth. He had been jumping for joy when he had seen her again at Defry Vale, she had been even more wonderful.

The scene in front of him changed, and he found himself standing on top of the Eifel Tower. He glanced around and saw his Fourth self with Romana.

Romana, the future president of his home. So brave, strong and loyal to those she cared about. As he observed their easy banter, the Doctor couldn't help but smile. He remembered her friendship well, and it had lasted until her death.

The TARDIS began to show him more and more of his friends of throughout his ten lives. Ian and Barbara, Victoria, Jamie, Jo, Adric, Peri, Evelyn, Sam Jones…

Rose…

Rose had changed his life. He had met her at the point where he needed someone to cling onto, someone whom he could protect from harm. He had found that in Rose.

Jack, King of Flirts. Jack, with such a loyal heart. Even if he, the Doctor, didn't deserve such loyalty.

Donna, the red head with the fierce temper. But he had seen through the woman very quickly, he had known that she hid behind the sharp tongue, she hid all of her insecurities and fears after having been put down by her mother almost her entire life.

Martha…

His wonderful Martha, so strong despite her petit frame. Stronger then he had ever thought possible. His hearts ached for all of the pain he had put her through when they travelled the universe. How she could even be willing to help him now, after all he had put through was beyond him. She was probably even more loyal than Jack. And there was nothing in the universe that would stop him from trying to repay her in some way.

Suddenly, he was back in the medical room of the TARDIS. He was shocked when he saw his body in the harsh light. Both of his arms and legs were in casts, and across his upper body there were so many cuts, scares and bruises that he couldn't even make out if there was skin that wasn't injured.

He noticed that Martha wasn't in the room anymore. With the TARDIS help, he found himself in the corridor just outside the medical bay. Martha was curled up in a corner, heavy sobs racked her body.

Jack walked by him, and sat down next to Martha. He pulled her into an embrace. Martha curled herself into his lap, and continued crying.

When she settled down a bit, she whispered, "I broke his arms and legs, Jack. I'm no better than the animals who did this too."

Jack shifted slightly, and put his hands on her cheeks, angling her head so he could look her in the eye. "No, you are better than those animals. The Doctor knows why you did it, so you could help him heal properly. The Doctor knows you care about him, and would never hurt him intentionally."

The Doctor, who was observing this, desperately wanted to let Martha know that Jack was right, but he couldn't. He could only observe.

Martha sniffled a bit, but she did nod. She extracted herself from Jack's embrace and got to her feet. Jack did the same and quickly kissed her cheek.

"How is he?" he asked her.

Martha visibly pulled herself together. "He's stable. His breathing is good, both hearts are beating good. I'm amazed that there wasn't any more internal damage."

Martha and Jack walked back to the medical bay, and the Doctor was put there by the TARDIS. He listened as Martha explained to Jack what she had done.

"Now what?" Jack asked her.

"Now… we allow him to heal. The TARDIS is, with consent of the Doctor of course, going to put him back in his body –for lack of a better explanation- so his mind can heal as well. And when he's ready, I'll stop with the medication that is keeping his body asleep and he will wake up."

"That simple huh?" Jack said.

Martha shrugged. "Yeah, basically."

Jack nodded his understanding. "So, where is the Doctor now, if he is not in his body?"

Martha twirled her hand in the air. "All around us. Basically, the TARDIS holds his mind safe, they're one at the moment."

_Are you ready?_ The Doctor heard the TARDIS ask him.

_Yes, I need the rest._ He answered.

_I'll be right here with you,_ she assured him.

_I know, old girl._

He felt himself float away into darkness. The TARDIS and Martha had helped him as they had promised. No pain.

When he woke up three weeks later, Martha was there, smiling at him.

There was no pain, he was safe.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Martha smiled at the Doctor as he slowly woke up.

"Hi, welcome back," she said.

The Doctor smiled back at her, albeit weakly. There was some reserve in his eyes that Martha didn't like to see, but still understood. He had been through hell and would be reluctant to trust even her; even after what she had already done for him. Unluckily for the Doctor, Martha was very stubborn when his health and safety was concerned and she wasn't going to leave him alone for the time being.

The Doctor didn't answer her, but remained quiet and kept observing her.

"How are you feeling?" Martha asked him.

Still the Doctor remained silent.

"Doctor, I can't help you unless you answer me," Martha prodded gently.

Martha took a little gasp as she saw the weariness and fear appear in his eyes. Suddenly she understood.

Gently she took his hand in hers.

"Doctor, can you feel my hand? I assure you I'm very real," Martha said.

"I dreamed…" Doctor started in a hoarse whisper, "…I dreamed that you saved me. This isn't real, just a dream."

"You're not dreaming, this is real," Martha said.

The Doctor shook his head. "Dream…" he muttered.

"Doctor, look around you," Martha said. "you're in the TARDIS. I assure you that I'm very real and you're not dreaming or hallucinating."

Warily, the Doctor looked around him. The fear in his eyes subsided a little, and he looked back at Martha.

"You're real…?" he asked her.

Martha nodded.

"I'm not dreaming?" he asked, just to be sure.

Martha shook her head. "This is very real, Doctor. You're in the TARDIS, and you're safe now."

Tears started to form in the Doctor's eyes. "Promise…?" he whispered.

Martha sat back down on her chair –the chair that she hadn't vacated much in the last three weeks-, grasped his hand a little tighter and reached up to stroke the fringe of the Doctor's forehead.

"I promise, Doctor," she whispered.

The Doctor nodded and remained silent for a while. Martha didn't want to press him any further for information about what happened to him, so she settled for information about how he felt now.

"How are you feeling?" Martha asked him. "And please be honest."

The Doctor gulped. "I can't," he said.

"Why not…?" Martha asked.

The Doctor shook his head, and with tears in his eyes turned his head away from her.

Martha continued to sit with him and hold his hand. She knew he was scared, scared of the entire situation, scared of the fact that he wasn't in control. Martha thought back to all of their adventures together, and she realised that the Doctor was always in control, and if he didn't have it completely, he would find a way to regain it. She knew that he wouldn't talk to her until he felt that control again.

Martha gave a sigh, maybe… if she could convince him that he could trust her… that he was still in control…

"Do you remember…" she started, caressing the back of the Doctor's hand, "… when we met. You looked so confident, standing in that ally, chatting me up. Although I think that from your point of view, you weren't chatting me up, you were probably… you know I don't know what you were doing. And the first time I stepped into the TARDIS… boy, was she magical… Small on the outside, so big on the inside… she still is magical, by the way…"

The TARDIS' hum intensified for a moment, as if she wanted to thank Martha for that comment.

"In our travels, how many times have you saved my life? There was when we met, remember, you got the Judoon to find the blood sucking vampire just in time so they could send the hospital back to Earth. And on New Earth, you opened up the roof of the motorway, so all those thousands of people could finally see the sun again…"

Martha continued to list all those times the Doctor had saved the day. She stopped talking, when he started to shake his head.

"I'm weak…" he whispered. "You did more than I did."

With those words, he took his hand from hers, with a grunt of discomfort turned on his side, facing away from Martha.

All she could do was look at his back, and tense shoulders.

-x-

The Doctor heard Martha leave the room, and he relaxed a little.

He was finally alone.

He knew that Martha had hardly left his side in the three weeks of his coma, and he was grateful for that, but he didn't feel like he deserved it.

He had been afraid to tell her how he felt, because he knew that complaining about pain meant more pain. But Martha would never hurt him, he knew that. His mind wouldn't stop going around in circles; admitting to pain, no more pain when he would admit it.

He had told Martha that he was weak, because he was. She had kept telling him all about the times that he had saved her or the day, but he now knew that he was weak. Martha had done most of the 'saving the day'. She was too brilliant to not to.

The Doctor curled into a ball on his bed and started to cry.

He was weak; he had been kidnapped, tortured, beaten… raped, and he had to be saved by Martha and Jack. Martha had to patch his broken body up, but she could never patch his mind up.

No one could.

Slowly, he fell asleep.

When he woke up two hours later, he turned on his back and rubbed the grit from his eyes. Then he noticed something hanging on the wall that he was sure hadn't been there when he had gone to sleep.

It read,

**'The How-is-the-Doctor-feeling chart' ***

1. I'm miserable, leave me alone  
2. I'm miserable, please hold my hand  
3. I'm feeling a little better, but please hold my hand  
4. I'm feeling better, but still feel pain  
5. Please listen to me, I'm ready to talk about anything than point 6  
6. I'm ready to talk about what has happened to me  
7. I'm feeling even more better, but still need to talk  
8. I'm ready to start some exercises  
9. I would like to go to the console room  
10. I'm feeling a lot better, I would like to go some place here on Earth  
11. I'm fine again, I'm ready to start travelling again**

* not necessarily in this order, the Doctor is free to shuffle them.  
** not recommended until the Doctor has done point 10 a few times, at least.

The Doctor read the chart that was now hanging on the wall. It was clearly in Martha's handwriting.

He blinked, hard. He desperately tried to blink away the tears, but he failed. Rassilon, did he like Martha even more now. It was like she read him as if he were an open book; like he couldn't keep a thing from her.

The Doctor was still trying to compose himself when Martha came back into the medical bay. She sat back down on her chair and with her hands folded in her lap, she observed him.

The Doctor watched her. Could he…? Could he trust her to keep him safe? She had so far. Could he trust her to keep his secrets? Could he trust… _her_? There was only one answer in his mind.

He reached out with this hand, and Martha took it.

"Two…" the Doctor whispered.

Martha gave him a small smile and took his hand a bit more firmly in her own.

_Yes_, the Doctor thought. _I can trust her. _

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

It had been six weeks since the Doctor's rescue and three since she awoke him from his coma. The first few days had been rough, the Doctor had alternated between a 'one', 'two' and 'three' on his chart when he was awake, and each time he had cried himself to sleep. On the fourth day, Martha had moved him to his own bedroom where he could be more comfortable.

The TARDIS had been sweet and had moved all of the essential rooms into the same corridor; the Doctor's room, Martha room, the kitchen, the library, and the Medical bay.

Even though the TARDIS was parked in her garden, and she could easily sleep in her own bed, Martha spend the night inside the sentient machine; she wanted to stay close to the Doctor.

The Doctor and Martha spend a lot of time together and after a while Jack and Sarah Jane were regular visitors as well. The Doctor always put on his mask and tried to fool them into thinking he was fine, but Martha knew different. He wasn't able to fool her. Sure, physically he was doing a lot better, but mentally was something different. He wasn't sleeping and if he did, the Doctor would wake up screaming.

So, with the TARDIS help, Martha hatched a plan.

On day sixteen, Martha led the Doctor into another corridor and into a room that the TARDIS had prepared.

"What are we doing here?" the Doctor had asked her.

Martha pulled him into the room, but let the door stay open.

"What do you see?" she asked him.

The Doctor glanced around. The room was big, a comfortable looking sofa was on the other side of the room, and in the centre, hanging from the ceiling, was a punching bag.

The Doctor shrugged. "What's going on?" he asked her. There was a little fear in his voice, that Martha didn't like to hear, but would hopefully be gone later today.

Because that was the reason they were in this room now. The Doctor was scared. He hadn't left the TARDIS –he wouldn't even go to the console room-, the only thing he did was read, sleep and eat. He didn't talk about anything important, like usual, and only about their –the Doctor and Martha's- travels. But the second that Martha would bring up anything remotely tied to his kidnap and torture, he would tense up, and move to another room. Martha knew that the Doctor wasn't the type of person to share his emotions or feelings, but she also knew that what he was doing now, wasn't healthy.

Martha faced him and took his hands into hers.

"I'm worried for you," Martha whispered. The Doctor shook his head, but Martha interrupted him, "I can't help it. I know that you don't talk about anything important, but I think it is wise if you do that now."

"I can't," the Doctor whispered.

Martha squeezed his hands. "I know…" she said. "I know that you're scared, because if you start… raging… or crying… You're afraid that you can't stop…"

Tears formed in the Doctor's eyes as he slowly nodded.

"Doctor, no one will see you, no one will hear you. The TARDIS has locked the outer doors, so no one can come in. You're safe here, safe to do whatever you need to do to let it all out. Scream, cry, punch the bag, do something to let it all out."

The Doctor let go of Martha's hands, and left the room.

It was later that same day, Martha was reading a book on Gallifreyan psychological ailments, when she heard a cry. A cry filled with so much anguish, hurt and despair that tears sprung into her eyes. Martha put down her book and slowly made her way to the corridor. She walked down it and turned the corner. The door was open and she saw the Doctor hitting the punching bag with all his might.

Martha turned and went back to the library and put the book back on the shelf. She didn't need it anymore…

That night, Martha turned around in her bed, when her slumber was interrupted by an intruder. Soft feet padded over to her bed, and she felt the duvet being lifted. A body slid into bed next to her, and remained motionless after that. Martha gave a small sigh, and shuffled closer to the cool body next to her, still pretending to be asleep.

"I know you're awake," the Doctor whispered.

Martha giggled, but still pretended to be asleep. She placed her arm around the Doctor's waist.

"Go to sleep," she ordered him.

"Can't, already slept for three hours tonight," he answered.

"Then stay still, so I can get the five more that I need."

"But you're a doctor, you can work wonders on very little sleep."

"Takes one to know one, Doctor," Martha retorted.

Martha smiled.

The Doctor wriggled a bit closer again, into her embrace, and whispered, "Thank you for today."

"You're welcome, Doctor."

They snuggled together and both fell asleep.

-x-

Martha woke up and noticed the Doctor –who was facing her- was watching her. She placed her hand on his arm.

"Morning," she said.

"I remember having dinner with Donna and her family," the Doctor started. Martha was shocked that it came out so readily and steady, but she kept still, because she dare not interrupt him. She knew that this was difficult for him, and she was going to be here for him.

"I started to feel cooped up in that house, so I went for a walk. I just walked around the neighbourhood, when a van pulled up, two men jumped out, grabbed me and knocked me out. When I woke, I… I-I was n-naked, and then…" the Doctor stuttered. Martha caressed his arm, trying to soothe him.

"You don't have to continue," she said.

The Doctor looked at her. "Six," he muttered.

Martha nodded. "Take your time."

The story was long, painful, and it took the Doctor four hours, but then he had told her everything. Every gruesome detail, every broken bone, every rape.

Martha held him as he cried himself to sleep from pure exhaustion. When he woke up an hour later, he gave her a watery smile.

"What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?" he asked her.

"I don't know," Martha answered truthfully.

"I feel lighter somehow," the Doctor said, a surprised tone in his voice.

Martha nodded her understanding.

"It's like…" the Doctor continued. "… like, I can now move on a little better, you know?"

"I think I do," Martha said. "I can never understand completely, but I hope you know that I'll always be here for you."

The Doctor gave her a smile, the first real one in weeks, and slowly let his hand caress her arm. "I know… even if I don't deserve it."

Quickly, Martha placed her finger over his lips. "Don't say that. Everybody deserves to have friends who are there for them if they need it, even you."

The Doctor took her hands in his. "Even after all I put you through during our travels?"

"Yes, Doctor, even then," Martha stated, her tone telling him that she was very serious. "You know I love you. I'm just no longer in love with you. I feel the love you feel for your best friend. And I know you'll never say it to me, and that's okay, but I know you care about me too."

The Doctor blushed a little, and turned his head into his pillow.

-x-

It was another few days later, when the Doctor walked into the console room for the first time in twenty four days.

The TARDIS hummed at him and he smiled.

"I know, girl," he whispered.

The Doctor could feel the TARDIS' joy of having him in that room. It meant to both of them that the Doctor was doing better.

The Doctor sat down on the captain's chair and placed his feet on the console.

That is how Martha found him an hour later, with his tilted back he was gazing up at the ceiling, lost in thought.

He snapped around, when he heard her. There was a hint of fear in his eyes. Martha took a deep breath, she was so scared that the Doctor would never truly heal. Every time she would walk into a room, and surprise him, the fear was still there. Martha deepest fear was that the Doctor would stay in the TARDIS, in her backyard for a long time; possibly too long.

"Only me," she said.

The fear from his eyes dissipated. "It felt right to come here again."

Martha nodded, and walked over to him. Facing him, she leaned against the console. "Maybe soon, you'll be ready for the next step."

The Doctor looked at her, not understanding.

"I'm inviting you to my house, for dinner," Martha said.

The Doctor nodded, but didn't accept, nor declined; which Martha took to be a good sign.

"Think about, and let me know," Martha said, and she left him alone in the console room.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Cautiously, the Doctor opened the outer door to the TARDIS and peeked out. The lawn stretched out in front of him, very green and normal. Beyond that Martha's house appeared in warm yellow light, looking more and more inviting with every passing second. He took a deep breath and opened the door a bit further. He leaned out slightly, but held the door firmly in his hand… in case of emergency…

He looked at Martha's house and noticed that the curtains weren't closed and saw the young doctor in the kitchen. She obviously had the radio on, because she was slowly swaying and twirling, and even held up the utensil she was using, pretending it was a microphone. The Doctor smiled at her, though she didn't see him.

Martha was fiercely loyal to anyone she cared about, and the Doctor felt very humble that she continued to care for and about him, even though he still felt that he didn't earn it. She was doing so much for him and he knew that he would never be able to repay her, but he was sure going to try.

And the first step for him was going to her house and have dinner with her. When she had first asked him a few days ago fear had overwhelmed him. Fear for leaving the TARDIS. He was now brutally honest with himself and knew that there was no point in denying that he was scared to leave the TARDIS. The TARDIS was his safe haven, his shelter from harm; nothing could get to him here. Being in the TARDIS meant no pain, only a safe feeling.

But the Doctor knew as well that he couldn't keep going like this forever. One day in the future, he would have to go outside again, and face the world. One day, he would have to put on... No, for now, going to Martha's house would have to do.

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and looked down as his feet touched the soft grass. He didn't see that Martha was looking at him as he emerged from his ship for the first time in five weeks. The Doctor glanced around, took a step forward and turned around. He faced the TARDIS, and looked inside. The interior beckoned him, the safety beckoned him. He reached out and grabbed the door handle… and pulled it closed. He patted the outside of the TARDIS.

"Progress," he muttered. "One step at the time…"

He felt the outer shell warm slightly, and he smiled. He turned around and slowly, and becoming more confident with every step, made his towards Martha's house. If only is earlier incarnations see him know, they would turn away in shame; knowing that one day he would be afraid to cross a simple lawn. But he was very proud of himself that he had done it. He knocked on her back door, and gave Martha a cheeky grin as she opened the door for him.

"Hi, I made it," he said.

Martha gave him the warmest smile she had ever given him.

"I see that," Martha said. "Come in, dinner's almost ready."

Martha opened the door further for him and stepped aside. He entered and Martha closed the door behind him.

"Do you mind eating here at the table? I don't have an official dining room, and I don't like to eat on the sofa," Martha asked him.

The Doctor shook his head. "Nope, don't mind."

Martha waved towards the table. "Make yourself comfortable."

The Doctor hesitated. "Need a hand with something? I can…"

Martha sighed. "Doctor, I invited you to dinner, so sit down and relax," she said in a mock stern voice.

But the Doctor didn't relent. "At least allow me to help set up the table…"

Martha sighed theatrical, the Doctor did the same. Martha indicated the cabinets. "In there," she said.

The Doctor gave her a smile, and opened them. He pulled out a table cloth, and dishes and utensils, and quickly set the table for the two of them.

By the time he was finished setting the table, Martha had finished making dinner and soon they were both enjoying it.

"May I ask you something?" Martha asked carefully.

The Doctor nodded. "Of course."

"Were you scared to come here tonight?"

The Doctor looked at her like a deer caught in headlights. His cheeks flushed and he ducked his head.

"I noticed the wariness as you left the TARDIS," Martha whispered. She reached out and clasped his hand in hers.

Looking incredibly embarrassed, the Doctor nodded.

"I can't fool you… can't I?" the Doctor said.

Martha shook her head. "No, not really. Not anymore."

With a sudden movement, the Doctor rose from his chair and started pacing the small kitchen. He ran his hands through his hair and gave a hearty tug. "I can't stop… stop… thinking that there is someone out there, lying in wait, to hurt me even more."

He gave a frustrated groan. "Me…" He poked himself in the chest. "Me… I am afraid to cross the garden of my best friend's house. I've travelled all across the universe, I've seen the big bang and the last sigh the universe will take, and all in between. I've dined with kings and queens, and the even more wonderful every day man just trying to survive and support his family. And now... I was kidnapped, and hurt…"

Tears sprung in the Doctor's eyes as he ranted. But to Martha it was wonderful, hearing his frustration, hearing him deal with his pain. She knew that he was on the road to recovery.

"… and now I'm afraid to take the fourteen steps from the TARDIS to your back door."

"But you did," Martha countered. "You were scared, but you did it anyway. You took those fourteen steps."

The Doctor fell silent as the meaning of Martha's words sunk in. He sat back down heavily and stared at his friend.

"I did it… I took those fourteen steps…" he whispered.

Martha reached out again, and again took his hand in hers. "Yes, you did."

"I'm better than I was yesterday."

Martha squeezed his hand. "And in a few days you will realise that then, you are feeling better then you are today. It is a circle that will last a long time. Every day you will feel better."

The Doctor leaned back in his chair, and looked at Martha as if she just explained the meaning of life to him.

Suddenly, he sat up straighter, bit his bottom lip and clasped his hands in his lap.

"What…?" Martha asked in a amused an intrigued tone.

"Do you have a guest room?" he asked in a small voice.

Martha was surprised by the question and she wasn't shy about showing it. "Why?"

"Can… can I sleep here tonight?" the Doctor asked her.

Martha's eyes widened even further in surprise. "Of course you can stay here tonight. But are you sure? Maybe it's too soon?"

The Doctor looked at Martha. "Maybe it is too soon, but it feels right…"

Martha nodded. "Okay, you are always more than welcome to come and stay the night. But I wasn't prepared for that question, so I have to go and get the room ready. If you will excuse me for a minute."

The Doctor watched her leave, and sniffed. She had absolutely no idea how much she meant to him. It was if she perceived that helping him heal from all that was done to him was normal. She had put her own life on hold to help him. She had stayed him with constantly over the last five and a half weeks, and as far as he knew, she hadn't gone to work at UNIT. But that was easily explained; UNIT would have known that she was taking care of him and would have given her the time off. But he had seen no members of UNIT, none had come to visit him. Jack and Sarah Jane had, Tish Jones had when Martha went shopping for groceries. He had always been with people he knew, but never someone from UNIT…

Martha returned to the kitchen and found the Doctor doing the dishes.

"You don't need to do that," Martha insisted.

The Doctor turned. "I want to," he assured her.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Martha said as she grabbed the tea towel to help him.

"How did you find me? Did UNIT help you, and Jack?" he asked.

Martha gripped the towel a bit tighter. "Jack helped me," she said in a clipped voice.

The Doctor turned to face her properly. "Just Jack, not UNIT?"

Martha sighed, and brushed a nonexistent hair from her forehead. "Martha…?" the Doctor implored her.

"UNIT refused to help me find you, they thought that you just wanted to be away for awhile, and no matter what Jack or I said, they wouldn't help. So Jack and I did it ourselves."

Martha looked at him, trying to determine his reaction.

"They did nothing…?" the Doctor whispered.

Martha shook her head. "No," she whispered, and in a soft voice added, "so much happened those early months that didn't make sense…"

"What do you mean?" the Doctor asked.

Martha hesitated.

The Doctor walked over to her, and put his hands on her shoulders. "Martha…?" he asked in a demanding tone of voice, he sounded so much like his old self again that it surprised Martha.

"Why don't we sit down?" Martha suggested.

After they sat down, Martha took his hands and told him about those months. How UNIT hadn't want to help, only Colonel Mace, and how after she and Jack had spend many days pouring over old UNIT and Torchwood files, they had discovered that the two organisations had worked together over the years. That UNIT had always known about Torchwoods desire to find the Doctor, and had kept him safe for decades, but a rogue element had always implored the most ranking officers of UNIT to hand the Doctor over to them. They believed that the Doctor –as an alien- had no business on this planet, and it was their job to learn as much as they could about him to learn how to defend themselves against hostile aliens.

The Doctor listened to her, the look in his eyes grew colder with every sentences Martha uttered. How could UNIT –even if it was a rogue element- do this to him? He had always done his upmost to help them to protect this planet. He had died for this planet. And a rogue element had kidnapped him, tortured him, they had men and women rape him… and all for the sake of learning about him? The Doctor rushed over to the sink where he emptied his stomach.

Martha came over to him, and gave him a glass of water. He rinsed his mouth and drank the remainder of the water. He leaned heavily against the counter.

"Thank you…" he muttered.

"For what?"

"That you're honest with me," he clarified.

"What would me telling you a lie accomplish?" Martha asked. "It would only cause problems between us, and I don't want that. I have never lied to you and I'm not about to start now."

"Do you still work for them?" he asked her.

Martha shook her head. "No… how could I…?"

The Doctor pulled her into a crushing hug.

Martha held him close.

"Come on," Martha implored him. "Let's go upstairs, you can lie down and get some sleep. You look exhausted."

The Doctor gave her a weak smile. "Boy, my emotions are all over the place tonight."

Martha gave smile in return. "I know how you feel. It's been a long night."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"What do you mean?" Martha asked.

"About UNIT…"

Martha sighed. "I was always planning on telling you. I never had any intention to keep it from you. But I figured that your recovery was more important and I had always told myself that when you asked how I found you I would tell you the whole truth."

The Doctor nodded his understanding. "Will you do something for me?"

"You need to ask after the last five weeks?"

The Doctor chuckled. "Point. Will you come with tomorrow, I want to go to UNIT."

Martha looked at him. "Are you sure? That's even a bigger step then coming here tonight."

"I'm sure. I need to see them and tell them I want nothing more to do with them for the rest of my life, and I mean all of them."

"Doctor, that's kind of rash…"

"No Martha, it's not. They betrayed me when they refused to help you find me. I can't trust them ever again, and they need to know that."

Martha nodded her consent. "Okay, I'll drive us over there tomorrow. But it's getting late, so let's turn in and try to get some sleep."

The Doctor followed her up the stairs, and went into the room Martha indicated was his. He left the door open a crack and noticed that Martha did the same. He pulled of his sneakers, his sweatpants and sweater, and dived under the duvet.

He fell asleep alone, when he woke a few hours later from a nightmare, Martha was there. When he woke for the second time, a little after eight o'clock , Martha was still there.

-x-


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello my dear readers. I apologize for this very long delay in uploading a new chapter. I hit a major writers block over the holiday's. I'm sorry! I'm not entirely sure about this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Please leave me a review?**

Martha never said a word on the drive to UNIT HQ, nor did the Doctor. Martha didn't dare. The Doctor looked as if he was ready to throw up, wanted to ask her to drive back, or jump out of the moving car, or do all those things at the same time. Martha remained quiet so the Doctor could process what was happening at his own pace. It had been six and a half weeks since his rescue and this was the first time that he went out properly and immediately he wanted to go into the lion's den.

Earlier, at breakfast, Martha had tried to talk him out of it. Saying it was too soon, that maybe they should go someplace different first, but the Doctor had been adamant. When he left the table to go and shower the Doctor had muttered something about 'not wanting to lose his nerve', but Martha wasn't sure. Luckily, Martha had managed to convince the Doctor that it would be a wise decision that Jack accompany them to UNIT, and Martha had not missed the look that had crossed the Time Lords face; it was if Jack's mere presences there could give the Doctor a sense of security that Martha couldn't provide. Which Martha understood perfectly, she was small and physically not that strong; Jack on the other hand…

Jack joined them at the gates and the three were escorted straight to the Brigadiers office. Soldiers threw themselves out the way when the three friends came by. Every single one knew the rumours: the Doctor had been kidnapped and tortured and somehow UNIT had known and had done nothing to help out. Every single one knew the legends that surrounded the Doctor, all that he had done for their planet since either the Seventies or Eighties –nobody was entirely sure- and was continuing to do to this day. And every single own showed their respect for the Doctor as he strode through HQ as if he owned the place.

Martha and Jack walked at his sides, and both of them could feel the tension in the Doctor. His hands were balled into fist and hung by his sides. All the UNIT personal saw _the Doctor_; Jack and Martha saw a man that was scared, scarred and dare not show it.

Martha quickened her pace and overtook the Doctor, just before they reached the Brigadier's office.

Martha stopped him by placing her hands on his balled fists, and hold them. "Are you sure you want to go through with this, Doctor?"

There was a fear in the Doctor's eyes that Martha recognized from those first moment after his rescue. And she knew that it was taking the Doctor a lot of effort to not make a run for it.

He nodded. "Don't leave me…" he whispered.

Martha squeezed his hands. "I will leave your side when you tell me to do so. Not before."

The Doctor nodded again in understanding. He unclenched his fists, and took her hands in his and squeezed. A little too tightly, but Martha didn´t complain.

"I don't know what I would have done without you these last few weeks," the Doctor confessed.

Martha smiled at him. "You would have had another friend. So what do you say we get this over with."

The Doctor nodded. He took a deep sigh, closed his eyes for a moment and without further comment turned around and walked into the office, right passed the Brigadier's secretary, and into the man's office. He grabbed a chair, plonked himself down, stretched out his long legs and laced his fingers behind his head, and he waited for the Brigadier to respond.

The Brigadier looked at the very skinny man on the other side of his desk. "Let me call you back," he said and hung up on the phone call that the Doctor had so rudely interrupted.

"Doctor…?" the man queried.

The Doctor nodded. "That's me…" He fell silent, and studied the man before him.

Brigadier Browning had replaced Brigadier Bambera about six weeks ago. The woman had been repulsed after finding out what rogue UNIT members had done and had retired after 23 years of loyal service. Browning had always had the greatest amount of respect for his predecessor and was already searching for answers along with his second in command, Colonel Mace.

The Brigadier held out his hand as he reached over his desk. "I'm Brigadier Mark Browning."

The Doctor made no attempt to shake the hand offered to him. The Brigadier stood up, and walked around his desk to meet Martha and Jack. He introduced himself once again and Martha and Jack did shake his hand. The Brigadier turned back to face the Doctor and found the man in the same position. The only thing that the Doctor was doing, was following him with his eyes. The tension level in the room rose.

Browning cleared his throat as he sat down back behind his desk, and needlessly started to rearrange the folders on his desk, clearly nervous in the presence of the Doctor and his friends. Martha gave an inward chuckle; the Doctor was far more nervous than the Brigadier would ever be.

"What can I do for you, Doctor?" the Brigadier asked him.

The Doctor shrugged. "I think that you are a clever man." And after a moment's hesitation, he added, "You tell me…"

The Brigadier looked at the skinny man in front of him, and bluntly said, "You're here because you want answers about your kidnap and subsequent torture."

Martha noticed that the Doctor swallowed deeply and simply nodded.

The Brigadier sighed, and once again cleared his throat. "Along with Brigadier Bambera and Colonel Mace, I ordered an investigation. All three of us were convinced that you just wouldn't leave the TARDIS behind and disappear. Quietly, we started to ask questions… and the answers that we found… well, I almost threw up."

The Doctor looked at the Brigadier and remained silent. Feeling a little disconcerted under the Doctor's scrutiny, the Brigadier continued. He told the Doctor about his investigation into his disappearance, about who could possibly be behind it. He told him about the rogue element inside UNIT, who had been in contact with Torchwood and had been planning this for decades.

"They both thought that by… 'studying' you…" the Brigadier continued in a tone of voice that sounded as if he were sick, "… that your physiology could be an answer to stopping aliens coming to this planet. Complete codswallop if you ask me. I mean, what could your body tell us about even remotely trying to stop it? Alien species can come and go when they please."

Silently, the Doctor, Martha and Jack all agreed with him.

"Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, Brigadier Bambera, both of them had no idea that the rogue element even existed. The contact with Torchwood was always between people in the rank of Major's or Captain's; never higher. It was like they knew that highest command would never tolerate… "

The Brigadier brushed both his hands over his face. "Doctor, let me assure that I, nor any other officers, would tolerate that was had happened to you. I know that you've always come to this planets aid when we needed and I can only hope that you will continue to do so in the future. But if the trust that there was has been destroyed, and you want nothing to do with us anymore, I will understand."

The Brigadier fell silent.

"Did you find out who is responsible?" the Doctor asked in a quiet tone of voice.

"Yes," the Brigadier Browning answered. "With the help of Captain Harkness and his team back in Cardiff, especially Miss Toshiko Sato, we were able to track them all down, including the last member of Torchwood who was involved. I assure that all of them are in our custody and awaiting their court martial."

The Doctor nodded his understanding. "Can I trust you?" he asked.

"UNIT will always help you in any…" the Brigadier started.

"No," the Doctor interrupted him, "that is not what I asked."

The Brigadier looked the Doctor in the eye and held his gaze. "I promise you that all contact you will have in the future with UNIT is going to be either with me, or Colonel Mace."

The Doctor once again nodded. He rose from his chair and held out his hand. "Thank you for your time, Brigadier."

Brigadier Browning smiled at him and shook the Doctor's hand.

The Doctor left the office and Martha and Jack followed him out the door, both giving a short nod to the Brigadier.

The military man sat back down behind his desk, and thought about his conversation with the Doctor. Not that it had been a conversation, he had done most of the talking, the Doctor had just listened. And he wasn't entirely sure if he had explained it all properly. The Doctor just bursting into his office had surprised him, and even with all his training he had felt flustered and unsure. The Brigadier just hoped that the Doctor would still trust UNIT, he said he would, but the Brigadier wasn't sure.

-x-

The Doctor and Martha and Jack said goodbye when they were outside the gates of UNIT HQ, and Martha drove back to her house. Once again, the trip was made in silence. The Doctor just stared out the into the streets, lost in thought.

When they reached Martha's house, Martha parked the car.

"I'm going to get some sleep," the Doctor muttered. He pulled the TARDIS key from the pockets of his sweatpants and walked around the house.

Martha watched him go in silence. What could she possibly say to him? Nothing. She knew that she would there for him when he needed her. Like always.

Martha entered her house, and cleaned up a little bit. Then she heard it; a deep wheezing, groaning sound. She made a mad dash to the backdoor and was just in time to see the TARDIS vanish. She threw the backdoor open and ran into the backyard and gazed up to the stars.

When she started to walk back to the house, realising that the Doctor was long gone, she saw it; an envelope wedged underneath a rock.

She pulled it out. It was a simple white envelope; it merely had her name written on it. She took it with her back inside. She sat down at her kitchen table and opened it.

_Dear Martha,_

_I know that how I'm not saying goodbye to you is grossly inadequate. But I can't do this face to face._

_When you found me, I was broken. It was like someone had taken me and had thrown me on the floor, smashing me into pieces. You picked up those pieces and put me back together again. But you can't fix the cracks, Martha. Only I can. On my own. _

_I know that I could have stayed in the TARDIS in your backyard, but being in the vortex, on my own, feels like a better thing to do._

_Did you realise that I haven't worn my own suit in weeks? I've only worn sweats so far. If I put on the suit, I have to be 'the Doctor' again, and I can't face that at the moment. I don't want to be me for a while._

_I need to be alone._

_It's not you, I know it's cliché, but it's the truth. As much as you have helped over the last weeks, the last bit I have to do alone. I know that I can never thank you enough for finding me, helping me, helping me heal. _

_But I will say it: Thank You. Thank you for being _my_ Doctor._

_The Doctor._

Martha sighed, and put the letter back in the envelope. She loved the Doctor very much and if he felt like this was the best course of action, who was she to argue that. Martha put letter away in her dresser and went upstairs to take a nap.

Over the next week, she kept an eye out for a blue box.

She should have kept an eye out for a white van.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Yay! Finally a new chapter. In this one you will find some x-rated language, Rose bashing and some Martha-whump. Please leave a review. **

* * *

It had been a very normal day. It was supposed to remain that way.

Work had been uneventful; Martha had had argued over the phone with her mother, and had been consoled by her sister. She had spoken to her father, who had once again complained about her mother and just this once she had argued with her father, saying that she didn't want to be the mediator, just this once and had hung up on him. Of course she regretted it immediately, but she knew that if she called her father back and apologized, that once again she would be thrust into the same position that she had in this family. And she had swung by Leo's very quickly, because her niece was sick.

The drive home was normal, everything about the house was normal… on the outside at least.

The second Martha had walked through the door, she had dropped her bag in shock. Her house was completely ransacked. Furniture was turned over, all the drawers had been removed from the dresser and turned inside out.

Then she heard a noise upstairs.

The burglars.

She walked over to the sofa and reached under it. Her fingers felt for the baseball bat that Leo and her dad had bought for her and had both insisted she'd keep. She'd never argue with them over it again.

She pulled it out and made her way to the stairs as silently as she could.

Suddenly, a man appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Hello, Doctor Jones," he said. "Care to tell us the whereabouts of the alien?"

There was no doubt in Martha's mind about who 'the alien' was. She remained silent and glared at them.

The man took a step towards her.

Martha looked at him and realised that she was no match for him, even with the baseball bat. She turned and ran down the stairs again.

She wasn't fast enough.

Martha heard the man rush down the stairs as well, the man caught up with her and bodily slammed her into the front door. She heard glass shatter as she made contact. Dazed with the impact, she slid to the floor.

The man grabbed her arm roughly and hauled her to her feet. He slapped her hard across her face, dazing her even more.

"Where is he?" the man growled at her.

Martha shook her head to clear the fog. She looked up at him and growled, "I don't know."

There was a flash of anger on the man's face and he hit her again. So hard this time that she lost consciousness.

-x-

Martha woke up to the strange feeling of someone touching her body.

She shifted her head, it was the only she could do. She opened her eyes and found the man who had been in her house right in front of her. She was in a standing position, her hands were tied above her head and attached to a chain that hung from the ceiling, and judging by the fact that she was cold… she was naked.

She blinked a few times, and glanced around. Martha shuddered in fear as she realised were she was, she was in the same room where Jack and her had found the Doctor in. The room in which he had been tortured and raped for eight months solid. And considering the fact that she was naked, all that was done to him would now be done to her.

Martha swallowed deeply and tried to push down her fear, but failing miserably. She knew what these animals had done to her best friend, she had treated his injuries and had heard his story. She knew every horrific detail. The Doctor had known –he had admitted that to her- that he would be found, he only had to hold on, and now Martha knew that same thing. Disappearing was unlike her, and with the state of her house, her family would know that something was wrong and would call for help, hopefully the Doctor and Jack.

Martha looked at her kidnapper and pushed down her fear. There was a glint in his eyes that she didn't like, and she realised that he was enjoying this; the creep was enjoying her fear. She decided to taunt him a little, just to see how far he would go. Martha knew that he only wanted two things: to see her fear and finding the Doctor.

"What…?" she growled at him. "Had to kidnap me and strip me naked just to get laid?"

There was a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

"Or are you on the other bus?" Martha asked him with a bright smile. "You are… well, at least according to the Doctor."

The annoyance disappeared and was replaced by utter anger. Martha decided to push him over the edge. "Oh yeah," she said. "The Doctor told me all about you, couldn't get it up for the ladies, but only for him…"

The man lashed out and hit her hard in the stomach. Martha gave a grunt.

"Game on," the man whispered in her ear.

-x-

The Doctor walked around the console, doing maintenance. It kept him busy and the TARDIS happy. And the TARDIS wasn't happy, oh she was with the maintenance, but not with his most recent behaviour. She wasn't happy with the way he had walked out on Martha, and had shown him that in the only way that she could.

The TARDIS had locked the temporal coordinates, so he couldn't travel in time. And she had locked the space coordinates too, so he couldn't even leave earth. All she would allow him to do was either hover in the Vortex or in Earth's atmosphere. Not that he was really complaining. If he really wanted to go somewhere, he knew that could override her locks and just go, but he felt reluctant to do so. He knew that the TARDIS was looking out for him and he loved her for it. She knew that he could recover on earth and then continue travelling, but he hadn't. He had been convinced that he could take those last steps himself. But the Doctor had realised over the last days that he couldn't, he needed someone to talk to, to talk with.

"Okay, I'll go back," he said.

The TARDIS gave a hum that sounded very cheerful and there was a bleep that came from the console. The Doctor went to check and found that the TARDIS had lifted the locks, he could go where he pleased now. The Doctor gave the console a pat and input the coordinates for Martha's backyard.

-x-

The postman had just about finished his route when he saw it.

A blinding light -as if a thunderstorm was building right in the middle of the street- suddenly formed out of nowhere. It was building and building and just as he was about to shield his eyes from the sheer brightness of it, the light vanished; leaving a blonde girl in its place.

The girl looked around and smiled.

She noticed him and waved.

"It's so good to be back," she said to him.

She turned around and walked away.

-x-

Rose Tyler had been having a great day. She had finally been able to calibrate the Dimension Canon in such a way that it had locked onto her real home, and she had wasted no time with waiting. The second it had locked on, she had stepped through. She hadn't even bothered with saying goodbye to her mum or to Tony. They were her family of course, but all that mattered was that she found the Doctor.

All that mattered was that she could return to the life that was rightfully hers; a life with the Doctor.

-x-

The Doctor wasn't really surprised that the TARDIS had in fact not landed in Martha's backyard, but in a street that he didn't know and had no clue if it was close to Martha's house in the first place.

He checked the monitor, and was hit with an almighty sense of dread.

Because running towards the TARDIS was a girl he hadn't expected to see ever again. She was supposed to stay in Pete's world.

The Doctor decided to not go to the door and meet her outside. He wanted to see her reaction to the changed him. Because he had changed. The Year under the Master's rule and the last ten months had changed him. And as Rose came up to the TARDIS, he could tell from the look on her face that she hadn't. Her face told him that she was just expecting to pick up where they had left and damn the consequences.

The knock on the door startled him a bit. He walked down the ramp and opened the door and had to very quick to catch Rose as she launched herself into his arms. She squealed and giggled.

The Doctor pried her arms from around his neck and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Rose…?" he asked. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

Rose smiled at him. "Why? Aren't you happy to see me?"

The Doctor sighed and took a step back. "Of course I am, but that's beside the point."

Rose continued to smile at him a sweet, sickly way. "No, you're right. That is beside the point. The point is that I'm here again. We can be together again."

The Doctor looked at her. "Rose, what are you on about, we were never together. How did you get here in the first place?"

Rose sighed in a childish way. "Well, I knew that it was my destiny to find you again, so when I started to work for Torchwood we decided to start building a Dimension Cannon, so I could come back."

"Hold on," the Doctor interrupted her. "You build a _what_ so you could _what_? Are you insane! What part of collapsing two universes didn't you understand?"

"I understood that," Rose said, a defensive tone in her voice. "But it was fairly easy, and as far as we could tell there wasn't any major damage done in the tests."

"Tests…!" the Doctor yelled. "So you did it more than once?" He ran to the console and started checking the walls between dimensions. Thankfully it seemed that Rose hadn't done that much damage.

"Doctor, what are you wearing?" Rose suddenly asked him. "What happened to your suit?"

The Doctor looked away from the monitor and looked down at his clothes. "I'm wearing sweats."

"You never wear sweats, only your suit and your previous self only that leather jacket," Rose said, there was an accusatory tone in her voice.

The Doctor looked at her. "I don't want to talk about it."

Rose blinked. "We always talked about everything."

"Things change…" the Doctor muttered. "I changed…"

Rose looked at him, and in a tone of voice that suggested that she didn't really want to ask and maybe was even bored enough to ask, she asked him, "What happened to you?"

The Doctor fixed her with a stare. "I don't want to talk about it. Now hold on, I'm taking you back to Pete's world."

Before he could even move, there was a knock on the door. The Doctor checked the monitor, and frowned. He dashed to the door.

"Hey Jack, come on in."

Jack entered the TARDIS. "You're looking better, Doctor. You feeling better too?"

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, thanks to Martha."

Jack looked sombre. "Yeah, that's why I'm here. Francine called me yesterday and… Rose?"

Jack did a double take as he spotted Rose on the other side of the console. Rose ran to him and enveloped him in a big hug. "Hey, Jack. I'm back."

For once, Jack didn't know what to say, and he was glad that the Doctor wanted his attention again, because having Rose here, with the Doctor being in the state he was in, wasn't very good.

"Jack? You were saying about Francine?"

Jack got out of Rose's embrace and faced the Doctor. "Martha's disappeared."

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor blinked in shock. "What?" he whispered.

"She disappeared two days ago," Jack said. "She didn't show up for work, and Francine and Tish hadn't heard a single word from her. When they went around her house, they found it completely trashed…"

Jack faltered.

The Doctor took a step towards him, a demanding look in his eyes. "What aren't you telling me? There's more. Tell me…!"

Jack sighed. "The front door… the glass was broken… and there was blood on it…"

The Doctor took the same step away from Jack and pushed his hands in his hair. "Blood…" he whispered.

Jack nodded and rushed forward as he noticed that the Doctor was swaying gently. He put one hand around the Doctor's shoulders and the other on the Doctor's arm, and steered him towards the chairs. "Keep breathing, Doctor. Slowly in and out."

The Doctor looked Jack in the eye. "Someone took Martha?"

Jack nodded.

"My Martha?" the Doctor repeated.

Jack nodded for a second time.

"She's gone," the Doctor muttered. "Martha's gone, someone took her and now she's gone."

"She's missing at this time, Doctor, not gone," Jack said in return. "I need your help to find her, because I think that you could do that the fastest."

Slowly, the Doctor nodded. Jack was right, if there was one person who could find Martha and find her fast it was him. But in order to find her he would have to go outside, into the world… The thought petrified him, he hadn't been outside in almost eleven months, and he wasn't sure if he could do it. And he voiced that thought to Jack.

Jack blinked. "I understand that Doctor…"

Then Jack was rudely interrupted by Rose. "Would someone tell me what the hell is going on here? The Doctor isn't happy to see me, which is very weird. Who the bloody hell is this Martha, and why is she important? And Doctor, why are you wearing sweats, and why aren't you sure if you can go outside?" Rose folded her arms across her chest and glared at the two men before, expecting a quick answer.

Jack looked at the Doctor, and took his cue from him, ticking off the answers to Rose's questions on his fingers. "The Doctor is happy to see you, he's just surprised, because he wasn't expecting it. Martha is a former companion of his, they travelled together for about one year, no… actually two years… And Martha is important, because she's brilliant, and a friend. And the Doctor is wearing sweats because he was injured recently and he's more comfortable in those clothes than in his normal suit." After that speech Jack turned his attention back to the Doctor.

Rose looked at Jack in utter bemusement, nobody had ever spoken to her like that; not even her mother. But the Doctor and Jack both ignored her.

"How are you doing, Doctor? Really…?" Jack asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "Physically I'm fine…"

It seemed to Jack that the Doctor was about to elaborate more, but for the second time there was a knock on the door. Jack looked at the monitor, and immediately turned to the Doctor.

"It's Francine," he said.

The Doctor -who had been leaning against the chair and was just staring into space, completely lost in thought- looked up sharply, visibly pulled himself together and walked to the door, and opened it for Francine.

"Can I come in?" the woman asked.

The Doctor stepped aside and waved her in. "Welcome aboard," he said to her.

Francine gave him a smile. "I've been inside before. I would sit with you sometimes, so Martha could get some rest herself. You don't mind, do you?"

"No of course not," the Doctor assured her, as he escorted Francine up the ramp. "Any member of the Jones family is always welcome on the TARDIS."

Francine continued to smile at him. "You look better… but still not well."

The Doctor blushed like a small boy in trouble with his mother. "Martha did help me a lot," he muttered.

"Yeah, she does that…" Francine muttered in return, "… but now she needs you…" Francine left the sentence hanging slightly.

The Doctor looked her in the eye. "I know… and I'm not going to let her or you down, Francine. I promise."

"Can you find her?" Francine asked.

The Doctor looked at Francine, and realisation struck. How long was he going to gone like this? How long was he going to stand by and see life pass him by? How long was he going to let fear of the unknown stop him from living again?

"Francine Jones… just you watch me…"

The Doctor took her hand, and pulled her after him towards the console.

"Francine, this is only going to hurt a little…" he said. He reached under the console and pulled out a sharp object, and held it over her hand.

Francine gave a very unladylike shriek and pulled both her hands to her chest. "What are you doing?"

The Doctor faltered a little. "I need a sample of your DNA to find her…" The Doctor gave her a bright smile. "There is nothing stronger in the universe then the bond between mother and daughter."

Francine stretched out her hand without hesitation and the Doctor pierced the skin. A drop of blood appeared. The Doctor pulled her towards a specific place on the console and allowed a drop of blood to fall on what appeared to be a piece of glass. Miraculously the blood disappeared; as if absorbed by the console.

The Doctor twiddled a few dials and pushed a few buttons, and turned around and walked towards the door that led deeper into the TARDIS. He briefly turned to Francine. "Francine, could you call Tish and Leo, and ask where they are? Thank you… I'll only be a moment."

With that, he turned around and opened the door. With his resolve to no longer life in fear, his sense of mischief had resurfaced as well. And it was not really a sense of mischief that caused him to do it, but he just wanted to hear Rose's reaction. Just as he opened the door and continued walking, he grabbed the hem of his sweat shirt and pulled it over his head; exposing his scarred back to Rose, Jack and Francine. He heard Rose gasp in shock, but he heard no more as the door closed behind him.

-x-

Rose turned to Jack.

"What happened to him?"

Jack sighed. "I told you. He was injured recently."

Rose scoffed. "Those scars say that he was a little more than injured!"

"Rose, leave it alone…"

"No, Jack," Rose said, tears starting to form in her eyes. "The Doctor is my... Jack, what happened to him?"

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rose… something bad happened. And he is still recuperating, so give him the time to tell you in his own time. But only if he wants to."

Rose took a moment to collect herself. She turned away and faced to console. She brushed a tear away. "So… who is Martha?"

"My daughter, and one of the Doctor's best friends," Francine answered, before Jack had a chance to.

Rose nodded. "Odd…" she muttered under her breath.

Francine blinked. "What is odd…?"

Rose looked at the older woman with the hint of a smug smile. "Well, the Doctor always said to me I was special, so clearly I'm his best friend…"

Rose was interrupted by yet again a knock on the door. "Hey spaceman, you in there?" a loud voice said.

Jack smiled and opened the door. Rose watched in utter bemusement as a tall woman with bright red hair entered the TARDIS. What the hell was going on here? How many people had the Doctor travelled with in her absence? How dare he? He had promised her that he wouldn't do that.

"Mrs Jones…? What are you doing here?" the woman asked Francine.

"Miss Noble, lovely to see you again," Francine said. She took a step forward and shook Donna's hand.

"Donna, Mrs Jones… remember?" Donna said with smile.

Francine nodded. "Martha had gone missing, and the Doctor is helping us to find her. That's why I'm here."

Donna nodded in understanding. "Well, I saw the TARDIS and just thought I'd pop in to say 'hi'." Then Donna spotted the blonde standing by the console.

Donna stepped towards her and reached out so the unknown blonde could shake her hand. "Hi, I'm Donna, I'm a friend of the Doctor's, and you are?"

Rose didn't take the hand. "Rose Tyler…" she answered.

Donna took a double take, and looked at Jack. She pointed to Rose. "Rose Tyler…?"

Jack nodded.

"Wow," Donna muttered. "Never thought I'd meet you!"

"I never thought that the Doctor would travel with other people after me…" Rose retorted.

Donna bristled, but was interrupted when the Doctor came back.

Rose stared at him. "Doctor? What are you wearing _now_?"

The Doctor glanced down at his body. "My suit…"

"It's _blue_…" Rose said.

The Doctor blinked. "I'm wearing sweats, you've got a problem with that. I'm wearing my suit, you've got a problem with that as well. What is your problem, Rose?"

Rose looked at him. "You've changed…" she said, there was an accusatory tone in her voice.

The Doctor looked her in the eye. "You haven't…" he let the statement hang. He looked back at the console. "The TARDIS has three possible locations for Martha. Francine, where are Tish and Leo?"

Francine hung up her mobile and gave him the locations for her other children.

The Doctor flicked a few switches. The scanner started to zoom in. "Okay, the TARDIS has located all three of your kids, Francine. These two dots are Tish and Leo, that means that that one is Martha."

Jack walked over and peered at the scanner screen as well. "Doctor…?" he breathed.

The Doctor looked at his immortal friend. "What…?"

"She's in the same location… where we found you…"

The Doctor nodded his understanding. "Donna, great seeing you again by the way, would you mind going with Francine to her house and wait there until we come back with Martha? And Rose… I think it's best if you went with them."

Rose and Francine started to talk simultaneously.

"Doctor, I'm going with you to find my daughter."

"Doctor, I'm never leaving your side again."

The Doctor sighed. "Francine, I've got no idea what shape Martha will be in once I find her. I don't think that you should see that. I promise you that I will find her, help her in any way I can, and then I will bring your daughter to you."

Francine held his gaze, and nodded. She knew that the Doctor would move heaven and earth to find and help her daughter.

Donna walked over to her and put her arm around the older woman's shoulder. "Come on…" Donna said as she escorted Francine out of the TARDIS. By the door, Donna stopped. "Let's go, Rose. We have to let the Doctor do his thing."

Rose took a step towards the Doctor. "I'm staying here… with the Doctor," she said.

Donna looked at the Doctor and when the Doctor nodded to her, Donna led Francine from the TARDIS.

The Doctor looked Rose in the eye. "If you get in my way…"

Rose backed away from him. "I can help…" she muttered.

The Doctor moved to the console and looked at Jack. Jack nodded, he would keep Rose out of his way. Jack understood why the Doctor kept Rose with him now, even when earlier he was ready to send her away. Rose was so caught up in her delusion that the Doctor and her were meant to be together, that she likely to become completely unhinged. At least this way they could keep an eye on her.

Jack moved towards the Doctor. "How you doing? You seem different… in a good way though?"

The Doctor smiled. "I was reminded that… I have a brave heart…"

_-x- _

_The Doctor walked into his room and removed his sneakers. He tossed them into a corner and sat down on the bed. He pulled a shirt towards him and put it on. When he started to do up the buttons, he noticed that his hands were shaking._

_"Stop it," he said to them._

_"You know that talking to yourself is the first sign of losing one's mind?" a voice came._

_The Doctor looked around, but had no idea where the voice had come from. _

_"What…?" he muttered._

_"What, don't recognize your own voice?" the voice came again, there was a hint of amusement in it. _

_The Doctor blinked. "No…" he breathed._

_He got to his feet and walked to a mirror. Standing next to him was his Fifth self._

_"Oh, yes," the Fifth Doctor said._

_"What are you doing here?" the Doctor asked._

_"I'm not here, I am just a figment of your imagination," the answer came._

_"But why you?" _

_"I think you know the answer to that question best," the Fifth Doctor said._

_"Because I liked being you best…" the Doctor conceded. _

_The Fifth Doctor smiled. "They others wanted me to tell you that they're very proud of you." _

_The Doctor snorted. _

_"We are," the Fifth Doctor assured him. "You went though something that none of us could hope to cope with… but you did and you survived. Martha helped you survive." _

_"And now she's gone…" the Doctor said._

_"No, she's missing, different thing. And now you're going to find her, and help her like she helped you."_

_The Doctor glanced at his younger self, standing there next to him, tall and confident. He, the Doctor, no longer had that feeling. He could fake it, sure, but even the thought of going outside terrified him. He dare not be honest with Jack or Francine. Both would be scared that he wouldn't be able to find Martha. But he could be honest with himself._

_"I'm scared…" he whispered._

_"I know," his Fifth self answered. "And Jack knows it to, and I even think that Mrs. Jones knows. Not too sure about Rose, because she's never see us scared, and thinks so highly of you that I don't think you could ever fall of the pedestal she's put you on. We both now that we always go on and do our best, even when we're scared."_

_The Doctor nodded. _

_"And I know that you're scared," the Fifth Doctor continued. "But when has that ever stopped us?" _

_"Never…" the Doctor said. _

_The Fifth Doctor nodded. "I would say brave heart…" He smiled, "We'll stand by you…" _

_The Fifth Doctor vanished, but he wasn't gone. The Doctor could still feel him, inside of him, along with the others, giving him strength to do this. _

_The Doctor walked to his closet and pulled out a blue suit. _

_-x- _

The Doctor looked at Jack as the memory faded away.

"Let's go rescue Martha," he said.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry about the delay in giving you lovely people a new chapter; RL got in the way. **

**And I just wanted to comment on two reviews I've received; consrning the 'Rose-bashing'. I personally don't see it as bashing, because I'm simply highlighting her character flaws. Rose's presence is merely there as a plot point to show her difference with Martha. If this is a reason for you to not continue reading this story that is your poragative, but don't say that I didn't warn you, I will continue this story how I want to. I put Rose in there for a reason which will become apparant in future chapters. **

**Until then, I hope you continue to read and review this story. **

**-x- **

She couldn't move, well she could, but if she did there was so much pain that all she wanted to do was scream. So she stopped bothering with moving.

Martha knew that she had to hold on. She knew that the Doctor would come for her; all that she had to do was go through the pain and wait for him.

Martha had no idea how long she had been kidnapped, but she knew that had to be at least two days, two days of constant pain. She had been beaten, tortured…

She had known what the Doctor had gone though, every horrible detail, and now that was happening to her. The worst part was that she knew why it was happening.

He wanted the Doctor.

Hurting her was for fun and to kill the time until he once again had the Doctor. The man that had taken her knew that the Doctor was coming for her, and then he would have them both.

The door opened and the man entered. He grabbed her leg and literally dragged her back to the torture room. There, he dropped her leg and it crashed to the floor.

"Hands…" he growled at her.

Martha looked at him. She held out her left hand, but didn't offer him the right; she held it closely to her chest. He had already broken her arm in two places, and had broken her wrist and fingers of that same arm and hand. Her arm was throbbing with pain, and she dare not move it to much.

"Other one too…"

Martha glared at him, and shook her head, no.

He reached forward and pulled her right arm towards him. Tears sprung in her eyes from the searing pain, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of crying. She did let out a scream of pain. The man laughed at her.

He bound her wrists together and attached the rope to a wench that was attached to the chain that hung from the ceiling. He pulled her into a standing position, Martha's arm seared with pain, and she let another scream.

The man smiled at her, and drew his finger over her broken arm, down her side and upwards to her breasts. She glared at him, but remained silent; she was used to his touches by now.

"What? No comments…" he sneered at her.

Martha remained silent, but then out of nowhere she smiled at him.

Because she was hearing the most wonderful sound in the world; no other thing in the universe made that sound.

"Game on…" she whispered to him, echoing the same thing he had said to her.

The man growled in the back of this throat. He pulled out a knife, and Martha recoiled slightly. He reached up and cut the rope. Martha crashed to the ground, landing on her broken arm. The man laughed at her again.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe, then reached for Martha and picked her off of the floor and held her in front of him like a human shield. With his teeth he pulled off the cap of the syringe and opened the door.

They went out the small room and standing in the corridor was the TARDIS.

Standing in front of the sentient machine, very casually with his hands in his pockets was the Doctor.

Martha felt a surge of hope as she laid eyes on him; especially, because he was wearing his suit.

"Look who it is…" the man drawled.

"Let Martha go now…" the Doctor said in a soft tone of voice, but the threat was clearly audible.

"Or what…?" the man threatened.

"I might consider letting you go, even after all that you did."

The man did nothing and simply sneered at him.

"You get one warning… that was it…" the Doctor told him.

Martha looked at the Doctor, and saw the fear in his eyes. He hid it well, but Martha saw it none the less. What Martha didn't know was that the Doctor was only feeling fear for her.

Martha let out a scream as the man jostled her around a little, and simultaneously jammed the needle into her hip; out of sight of the Doctor.

Then the man made it worse by changing the position Martha was in, as he grabbed her broken arm. Martha let out a blood curling scream, and there for didn't notice that the Doctor had taken a step forward and had shaken his head minutely.

"See what happens when you give me a warning…" the man threatened. "People get hurt…"

And with that, he emptied the contents of the syringe, pulled it and threw across the floor.

There was a moment of complete clarity. Her life flashed before her eyes.

Martha looked straight into the Doctor's eyes. "Doctor…?" she whispered.

The last thing she saw and heard before she lost consciousness was a gunshot and the Doctor running towards her.

-x-

Rose held on for dear life as the TARDIS hurtled towards wherever this Martha Jones was. She had never experienced anything like it, in her recollection the TARDIS had never flown like this before, not with this urgency.

Rose looked at the Doctor and Jack. Both men were not as she remembered. Both had changed. She could see it in the way they held themselves, the way they talked; verbally and nonverbally.

"What are we going to do once we land?" she asked.

Jack looked at her; the Doctor was too focused on the console monitor. "Rescue Martha," was the short answer.

"Will you stop with biting my head off? I'm asking a very simply question," Rose said.

Jack sighed. He moved over to her and pulled her into a hug. "I know Rose. I'm sorry. It's just that Martha is very dear to both me and the Doctor, and now she's in trouble because some people want the Doctor. And they can hurt her… very badly… We're just worried…"

Rose nodded in understanding. That was one thing she loved in the Doctor, he always worried about everyone.

"Locking on…!" the Doctor shouted.

Rose and Jack grabbed the railing as the TARDIS lurched violently.

"Jack, I've landed us in the same corridor I was…" the Doctor said. He looked at Jack, "… Find a good spot…"

Jack nodded in understanding. He pulled out his gun, checked it, and put it back in the holster.

"Just this once, Doctor," Jack said.

The Doctor nodded. The Doctor looked at Rose, and he pulled her towards the console. "Rose, stay here in the TARDIS." Rose was about to protest, but the Doctor interrupted her, "When Jack and I come back with Martha, throw this switch, it locks the door; no one can come in that way."

Rose nodded in understanding. She didn't like being left behind again, but the Doctor wanted her to make sure that their escape was secured, and then she would do that.

The TARDIS landed with her customary bump, and immediately the Doctor and Jack left the ship. Rose looked around the console and identified the switch. She poised her hand, ready to throw it when she had to.

And so she waited.

Remaining at her place, Rose looked around the console. The lights were subdued, almost as dark as they were when she travelled with her first Doctor. With her latest Doctor the lights had become brighter, almost the same as his personality. But when she looked at her Doctor now, it was almost like her previous Doctor had returned somewhat, as if something inside of him had been removed and had allowed an angrier Doctor to the surface. She knew how to handle that, she had healed her first Doctor and had been given her other Doctor. During their travels it had seemed as if they were made for each other; they both loved the travelling, the new worlds, the adventures, and most importantly each other. And nothing could and would stop that from returning.

She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard an angry yell of 'no' outside, followed by a gunshot. Her first instinct was to run to the Doctor and help, but she pushed that feeling down, she was needed here.

She looked at the door, and she jumped slightly as they were both thrown open by Jack. The Doctor came rushing in with a woman in his arms. She had dark skin, clearly she was injured and from the way she hung limply in the Doctor's arms she was unconscious.

Jack closed the doors, and immediately Rose threw the switch. There was a sound that came from the console and Rose assumed that meant that the doors were no locked.

"What the hell did that bastard inject her with?" Jack yelled.

"No idea…" the Doctor answered. "I need to analyse it first. You did grab it, didn't you?"

Jack pulled a syringe from his pocked and waved it around a bit.

But the Doctor never saw it, as he rushed Martha through the console room.

Rose watched him disappear through the door that led deeper into the TARDIS, feeling once again ignored.

-x-

The Doctor gently laid Martha down on the bed in the medical bay. Quickly and efficiently he examined her. Her worst physical injuries were the broken arm and wrist, and the deep whip lashes on her back. He winched in sympathy.

An x-ray showed him the amount of damage done to her arm, so he was forced to change into clean scrubs, and after given her an anaesthetic, he inserted a pin into her arm. He put a cast on her arm, from her shoulder to the tips of her fingers, so all could heal.

He stitched the deep lacerations on her back and put bandages on them.

After he was finished with her body, the Doctor put her in a hospital gown, and covered her with a sheet, and opened the door to the corridor.

He gestured for Jack to enter. "I knew you'd be waiting outside."

"How is she?" the immortal man asked.

"Physically, she will be fine. She has a broken arm and wrist, which I put in a cast. He used… a whip… on her…" the Doctor whispered. He took a deep steadying breath, and Jack patiently waited for him to continue.

"The anaesthetic should have worn off by now, and she should be waking up, but she isn't. And that is the part that is worrying me." The Doctor finished.

"The injection…" Jack muttered.

The Doctor nodded. "He injected her with something, and because of that she is not waking up."

Jack pulled the syringe from his pocket. "I can analyse it for you if you want me too. You stay with Martha."

The Doctor nodded. "Thanks Jack. I appreciate that."

The Doctor glanced around. "Would you mind staying with her for a second, while I grab something to eat and drink from the kitchen?"

"Go, you're right, you have to keep your energies up. Before you come back here, could you take us to Cardiff? Our medic there, Owen, can analyse it with the equipment we have."

The Doctor nodded. "I'll go do that now." He returned to Martha's side and placed his hand on her cheek. He didn't want to leave her side, but he knew that he had to preserve his energies.

Jack appeared at his side. "You will find out what he did to her, and then you are going to help her."

The Doctor sighed. "Yeah…"

He turned and left the medical bay. He quickly walked to the console room and entered the coordinates for the Torchwood Hub. He released the handbrake and with a shudder the TARDIS dematerialized. He checked the coordinates again, and patted the console. With a small bump this time, the TRADIS landed inside Torchwood, and there was a knock on the door. The Doctor threw the switch that kept the doors closed, and bounded to the door and opened them. He looked at the anxious faces of Gwen Cooper and Ianto Jones.

"Come on in," he said.

The two entered.

"Jack is in the medical bay with Martha. Just follow the TARDIS' directions to get there, she's moved it again."

Ianto walked across the console room, to go and find Jack. Gwen remained.

"How are you doing?" she asked him.

The Doctor gave her a smile. "I'm fine."

Gwen gave him a look and reached out and patted his arm. "Of course you are," she said with a knowing smile.

Ianto returned without Jack, but holding the syringe. "I'll go and get this to Owen, so he can analyse it."

"I'll come with you," Gwen said. "I have to make a few phone calls," she added, in a vain attempt to bow out of the slightly awkward situation with grace. The Doctor sighed and turned around and walked to kitchen for his sandwich and cup of tea.

As he entered, he saw Rose already nursing her own cup of tea.

"Rose…" he said.

"Oh, you've remembered me, have you?"

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**I think I've kept the Rose-bashing to a minimum in this chapter...**

* * *

_"Oh, you've remembered me, have you?" Rose said with a hint of annoyance in her voice. _

"Rose…" the Doctor started.

"Don't you 'Rose' me," Rose started. "Since I've been back you've hardly said two words to me."

The Doctor sighed and sat down across from her. "I know, and I apologize about that. It's just that a lot has happened since you came here and now Martha is injured and not waking up from the anaesthetic, and that's worrying, and I haven't had time to process everything yet."

Rose looked at him incredulously. "What do you mean, 'you haven't processed everything'? With your brain…"

The Doctor leaned across the table and took her hand. "Rose, since you were gone a lot has happened; a lot of it was bad. So bad, that I might never recover. So bad, that I've lost a bit of myself." The Doctor let go of her hand, and leaned back in his chair. "I can't explain it, but for the first time in my life too much has happened for me to deal with it and move on, like I've always done."

"What happened…?" Rose whispered. The annoyance of being ignored had dissipated, and was now replaced with a caring tone, lined with fear of truly hearing what happened.

"I don't want to talk about it," the Doctor responded.

"You do, you always talked to me…" Rose implored him, the annoyance returning slightly.

And with Rose's annoyance resurfacing, the Doctor's annoyance rose as well.

"About what…? We talked about what…?" the Doctor asked her.

Rose faltered. "What do you mean…?"

"What did we talk about…? Answer me that, Rose. What do you know about _me_?" the Doctor asked her harshly. "When did you ever ask about me? Our relationship was always about you. You losing your dad, your mum not having much money, you being forced to say goodbye to Mickey, always you. Did you ever stop and thought about asking me some questions about _me_?"

With that he pushed his chair back and walked to the counter and started to make himself a sandwich and a cup of tea. Behind him, Rose sat in silence. And from her laboured breathing he could tell she was crying or at least desperately trying to hold back tears.

"I just wanted to spare you more pain…" Rose whispered.

The Doctor sighed and leaned heavily against the counter. How could he respond to that, how _should _he? Rose had obviously tried to make things easier for him by not bringing up sore subjects, and he had been so pleased about the fact that she hadn't done that, that he could continue with his life and not deal with it. It had been a circle that they both hadn't been able –or didn't want- to break.

But the Doctor knew that that was the main difference between Rose, Martha, Jack and Donna. Rose had been quite happy to let the painful subjects slide, and just travel and have fun. On the outside, she had been completely oblivious to his pain, which had subsided in his Tenth life, sure, but was still there. Martha, Donna and Jack had seen the pain that he was hiding underneath that cheery disposition and all three of them had decided not to beat around the bush. Martha had made him talk about his pain, and deal with it, and in doing so he had told her things that he had never told Rose. And in all his travels with Martha, Rose's ghost had been a constant barrier between them, while all he had been seeking a… well, he had found that in Martha, but he was too stupid and too caught up in Rose's memory that he hadn't seen what was right in front of him. Martha had gone way beyond the call of duty; she had done more for him then any of previous companions. She had stood by him when he needed her; she stood up to him when she thought he was being a prat –which was pretty often during their travels-; and she walked away from him when the world needed her. And at this moment, the Doctor wasn't sure if Rose would have done the same when the Master had taken over.

"I realise that, Rose," the Doctor answered her. "I really do, but looking back on our time together… I regret to say that I'm starting to have my doubts about that."

Rose rounded on him. Tears were glistening in her eyes. "You could have told me!"

With his back turned to her –the Doctor just resumed making his sandwich and tea- he answered, "Yes Rose, I could have. But I didn't, because at the time I thought you didn't want to hear it. And after meeting Sarah again at Defry Vale, I realised that you never would. You were just too caught up in the fact that I had travelled with other people."

Rose let out a sound that sounded like a cat being stepped on its tail. "Well, you could have told me that too!"

"Rose," the Doctor said, having now finished and holding his cup of tea and the plate with the sandwich. "I'm over nine hundred years old, did you really, _truly_ thought that you were the first person I've ever travelled with…? That you were the first…? I've got to go and check on Martha…"

And he walked out, leaving Rose behind sulking. A tiny bit of him felt bad talking to her like that, but he had been honest to her. That was the only good thing that had come out of the last ten months; he had become dead honest, with himself and other people.

He walked into the medical bay. Martha still hadn't moved a single muscle, he could tell. And the worrying part was that she still hadn't woken up from the anaesthetic.

"Hey," Jack said.

The Doctor started, he had forgotten that Jack had been sitting with Martha. "Hey," he muttered.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked.

The Doctor looked at him, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

Jack shrugged. "You seem on edge…"

"My best friend has a broken arm, was hurt because of me and now she's not waking up. And you're asking if something is wrong?"

Jack held up his hands in defence.

The Doctor sighed and after putting down his tea and sandwich pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, Jack. I just had a rather bad confrontation in the kitchen."

Jack nodded sagely. "Let me guess, she feels ignored."

The Doctor nodded.

"I'll go talk to her," Jack said. "And I'll go and see if Owen has anything."

The immortal man left the chair he had been occupying next to Martha. He offered it to the Doctor and left.

The Doctor quickly eats his sandwich and sat down.

Martha was lying on her back, looking peaceful and asleep. The Doctor gently placed his hand on her arm, stroking it with his thumb.

"I'm sorry, Martha," he whispered. "I'm sorry for not finding you more quickly. All of this is my fault… I never should have left. I should have stayed with you... I should have been there to keep you save… I'm so sorry…"

Tears started to fall.

-x-

Jack found Rose sobbing in the kitchen. His heart went out to poor girl. He knew that Rose had expected to find the Doctor precisely the same, and now that that wasn't the case she honestly had no idea how to handle the situation. Jack crouched down beside her chair and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Through her heavy sobs Rose managed to shake her head. Jack squeezed her arm gently and allowed her to cry. Eventually Rose calmed down and looked at Jack through bloodshot eyes. She gave him a weak smile.

"Feeling a little better?" he asked.

"A little…" Rose whispered.

Jack let go of her and reached out to grab a few paper towels for her. He handed them to her and sat down across from her.

"Want to talk about it…?"

Rose shrugged and nosily blew her nose. Jack smiled at her.

Rose crumpled the paper towel in her hand and sniffed. "It's… it's like he's not happy to see me…"

Jack reached out and took her hand. "He is…" he assured her. "It's just that with everything that has happened to him, and now Martha being injured… He is still recovering and I think that right now his mind is solely focused on Martha, because of everything that she's done for him."

"He's still recovering from what…?" Rose asked him.

Jack sighed. "I don't think I should tell you…" Rose made to interrupt him, but he put his hand up to show that he wasn't finished. "And it's not that I don't want to, it's just that it had such an impact on him –and on all of us- that he should be the one to tell you. And even then I don't know the whole story. I think only Martha and the TARDIS know…"

"Always Martha…" Rose muttered.

Jack laughed.

"What…?" Rose asked him, sounding intrigued and cross.

"When Martha and the Doctor travelled together, Martha always felt that the memory of you stood between her and the Doctor."

On Rose's odd look, he added, "Martha had a major crush on him."

"And the Doctor…" Rose said.

"Yeah… never acknowledged it, because he still had you on his mind," Jack confirmed for her. "But now it is the other way around; the Doctor is focusing on Martha, and now she is standing between you and the Doctor. The universe at its weirdest…"

Rose nodded. She was about to answered, when Ianto and Owen burst into the kitchen.

"Where's the Doctor," Owen demanded.

Jack shot to his feet. "Why…? Do you know…?"

Owen nodded grimly.

Jack let the way out of the kitchen and through three corridors back to the medical bay. He knocked as he saw that the Doctor was hunched over, his shoulders shaking.

"One second…" he said in a hushed tone over his shoulder.

He gingerly approached the Doctor, and put his hand on his shoulder. The Doctor flinched and sharply turned. Jack's heart clenched when he saw the red eyes and the dried tears on his friends cheeks.

"Owen has got something…" Jack said.

"Yeah…" the Doctor said. He reached up and rubbed his eyes. He got to his feet, and with one last look at Martha went to the corridor.

"Doctor…" Owen said and extended his hand.

The Doctor shook it. "Owen…?" The unsaid question was clear when the Doctor said his name, and Owen took his cue.

He held out a sheet of A4. "This is the analysis of what was in the syringe…"

The Doctor glanced at the piece of paper. "Never seen this before."

Owen held up a finger. "Here at Torchwood, we have a drug called retcon. We use it to erase the memories of civilians when they have seen too much. It's perfectly harmless." He handed the Doctor another sheet. "The point is that there are four levels of retcon that we can give. The higher the dose, the longer period of time that is erased. Compare these two."

The Doctor held the two sheets next to each other. "It's almost the same, except this dose off the charts…" he waved the sheet with the analysis of the syringe.

Owen nodded. "As far as I can tell, the bastard gave Martha a liquid dose. We never give an injection, because in liquid form retcon is far too dangerous. Martha was given a dose that would normally erase about a week, but in liquid form that's about… " Owen faltered and swallowed hard.

"Owen…?" Jack said harshly.

"… about twenty years…" Owen whispered.

The Doctor took a step back in shock. Twenty years… _twenty years_ of Martha's life… _gone_. He turned and looked at Martha, who was still unconscious. He walked to her side and sat back down.

He didn't have clue on how to help her.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Yay, I'm back!**

**I'm so sorry I've left this unupdated for SO long.** **I've been ill, and then my computer crashed, ending with me being forced to buy a new one. Meaning that the completed chapter was gone. Meaning I had to write all a second time. And then my grandmother died. And then I just feel like writing. The chapter you're about to read is thus not the original, but I do feel I came pretty close in duplicating it. I hope you guys like, drop me a review with your thought. I'm not entirely sure about it myself, but still... enjoy. **

The Doctor's mind was racing. Martha was losing twenty years of her life and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. He mastered all of time and space, and now he was helpless. After all she'd done for him, she now needed him, and he couldn't think of a solution. He could feel Jack staring at him, willing him towards a solution. He could feel Rose staring at him, willing him to stop with Martha and notice her; yes, he had noticed her demeanour.

"So strange," Owen muttered from behind Jack. "Any second now she's going to wake up, and all her memories will be gone."

"Owen!" Jack scolded him.

Owen gave Jack a rueful look. "What? It's the truth. It's the way retcon works. All those memories are now whirling away in her head. When she wakes up, poof, they're gone."

The Doctor continued to rub the back of Martha's hand with his thumb. There was still no movement, no twitch of pain on her face, nothing.

Out of nowhere, the Doctor's back went ramrod straight. He did it so fast that Jack winced. He rose to his feet, carefully placed Martha's hand by her side, turned and ran towards Owen, brutally shoving Jack out of the way.

He grabbed Owen by his shirt, and pulled him closer; the Doctor's face was mere inches away from Owen's.

"Say that again," the Doctor demanded.

"W-w-what…?" Owen stammered.

"A-about the retcon and the memories and the sleeping," the Doctor said flustered.

"Eh," Owen managed to say, still inches away from the Doctor's nose. "Eh, well, retcon erases the memories during the REM-cycle…?"

"So as long as she's asleep…" the Doctor started.

"… Martha's memories are intact. Maybe a little jumbled, but still there," Owen finished for him.

The Doctor gave radiant smile. "Brilliant."

He released Owen –the man stumbled backwards a few steps- and started pacing, his hands in his hair pulling it in all different directions, muttering under his breath.

"It could work… yes, it could… bit dangerous… could ask two others… yes, that should work…"

Jack, Owen and Rose looked at him in utter bewilderment. Behaviour like this was something they'd never seen from him before.

The Doctor noticed and looked Jack straight in the eye. "I can safe her."

Jack smiled at him. "Yes!" he yelled. "How?"

"Well, I'm going to encourage her to remember," the Doctor said with a bright smile.

"Right…" Jack said, sounding a little unsure.

"Right," the Doctor answered with a lot more confidence. "But I'm going to need some help to do it…"

-x-

With a bounce in her step Martha Jones walked to the hospital, she was having a feeling that today was going to be a good day. It was her brother's birthday today, she and her sister had gotten him a gift that they were sure he was going to love; and nothing that... that -oh, she couldn't remember his name at this moment- was going to say to her was going to spoil her day and make her feel inadequate.

Martha was pulled from her musings as her phone rang. Glancing at it, she answered.

"Hello," she said.

"Martha, it's me, Tish," a woman on the other end of the line said.

"I'm sorry," Martha said, "I don't know anyone called Tish." With that she hung up, and turned her phone off.

Martha continued on her way to the hospital.

Out of nowhere a man appeared in front of her. He was wearing a very battered black leather jacket, a dark green jumper, black jeans and black boots. He had short hair and rather prominent ears. He held out his hand to her, he was holding something small and made of leather, about the size of two credit cards.

"Take this," he said in a Northern accent. "When you question something, open it and read it."

Martha faltered, and tentatively held out her hand. She had always been taught that you should never accept anything from strangers, but there was something in his blue eyes that made her… trust him. The second Martha's hand touched the leather the man literally vanished in front of her eyes. Martha took a startled step back, but something made her open the small leather holder.

In it was a simple blank card, with only a few words written on it:

_Trust us, we're here to help you_

Martha pocketed it, and continued on her way.

She made her way into the hospital and to the locker room where she quickly shed her denim jacket and shrugged on her white lab coat. It was strange, but she felt like a doctor in it. She reached to close the door to the locker, but she hesitated. She reached in again and retrieved the leather holder and stuffed it into the pocket of her lab coat. She made to close it, as a small electrical current was created. She pulled her hand back in shock, reached out carefully again, and closed the door.

She walked into the corridor, and wiped the sweat from her brow. Grabbing the magnetizing clamp again firmly in both hands, Martha followed Riley through the hospital corridor until they reached a heavily corroded steal iron door. Martha pressed the clamp against the door as Riley walked around the nurse's station and entered a few commands into the computer.

"In what year did Martha Jones start travelling with the Doctor…?" Riley said in a confused tone of voice. "What?"

Martha shrugged. "Who is the Doctor?" she asked Riley.

Riley looked over at her and shrugged. Martha stared down the corridor. The answer to the question was on the tip of her tongue. She glanced to the clamp in her hands, and when she glanced back to Riley to say she honestly didn't know Riley had vanished. In his place now stood a young man dressed rather oddly in a cricket outfit.

"Check the paper," he said.

Martha looked at him. "Do I know you?" she asked.

"Oh, I believe so, but not yet. I do believe it will be several hundred years before I meet you, but that does not mean you and I could not meet tomorrow," he said with a small smile.

"What are you on about?" Martha asked him incredulously.

"Check the paper," the man once again said.

With one hand on the clamp, Martha pulled the leather folder from her back pocket and opened it.

_The year 2008_, it read.

Martha closed the folder and put it back in her back pocket. She quickly looked back to the nurse's station, to ask the man what was going on, but he had vanished. In his place, Riley stood again.

"2008," Martha whispered.

And to her immense shock, surprise and relief, a light turned on above the door, and it opened.

Martha pushed the door open and stepped through. She walked into a playground. On one side there was a line of trees, separating the playground from the road. On the other side were the park and a parking lot. To Martha it seemed familiar, as if she'd been there before. A handsome man, dressed in brown pants, a white shirt and dark waist coat was sitting at a table, writing something. He had brown hair and beard. He was rather handsome.

Martha couldn't see him properly as she was standing behind a tall man wearing a long brown coat. She tried to look at his face, but as she tried, he turned away from her.

"Hey, nonny, nonny," the man behind the table muttered. Martha looked at him and smiled, feeling a bit pleased that such a handsome man could find her attractive.

Martha was even more shocked that the man introduced himself as William Shakespeare. After a short conversation, she followed the unidentified man out the door. In the hallway, he stopped her by placing a hand on her arm.

Martha turned to face him, and found the man rather handsome, he was in his late thirty's at most, had crazy brown hair and kind eyes.

"Martha," he said. "You have to stop this."

"Stop what?" Martha asked.

"Stop with jumping from memory to memory. If you don't, you could forget everything."

"What do you mean?" Martha asked, now slightly scared.

"Go to the end," the man said.

"The end? What 'end'?"

"The end of your time with the Doctor," the man said if it was obvious. "You do remember the Doctor, don't you?"

_A man with wild brown hair and sweet brown eyes. A brown pinstripe suit. A black leather folder, which held a magical paper. A silver tube. A blue box._

Martha's eyes widened and she looked at the man, recognizing him. But he had vanished.

Suddenly, the leather folder in her back pocket warmed up. Martha pulled it out, it instantly became colder, and she opened it.

_Go to the end, you will find help there_ it read.

Martha took a deep breath and focused. She knew that there was something wrong, she'd known from the beginning. It hadn't made sense first, walking through corridors she remembered taking, but not with… what was his name again? And then finding herself in a playground with William Shakespeare? She had never met him, but he still felt familiar, as if she should know him.

Martha blinked and walked through the forest to the barn that held the TARDIS for three months. On the side of the road there was a swing set. A dark skinned little girl was swinging, being pushed by an older girl. A little boy was playing in the sand beside the two girls. Both the girl pushing the swinging child, and the boy had dark skin. There was a resemblance between the children. Martha gave it a glance but continued walking. She reached the barn and opened the door and entered. A man in a battered leather jacket was standing in the middle of the barn; his arms crossed, a stern look on his face, though his eyes were kind.

"You're still not at the end, Martha," he said.

"How do you know my name," Martha demanded.

"Why did you come to this barn?" he asked instead of answering her question.

Martha faltered for a second. "I… I have to…?" she said hesitantly.

The man nodded. "Yes… you have to…" he said, hoping she would finish his sentence.

Martha wracked her brain. She knew she was here for a reason. She was supposed to do something here, something for herself, something that mattered.

"I… I have to go…" Martha muttered.

"Go where…?" the man in the leather jacket asked. There was an eager tone in his voice, and his eyes shone with pride.

Pride Martha didn't understand, and feared a little. Why would a man she'd never met before look at her with such pride? Martha took a step back from him. There was something about him that she didn't understand. A little part of her screamed that she should know him, there was a look in his eyes that she knew, that she had seen before, but she'd never met him before!

"I have to go," Martha muttered again.

The man nodded. "Then go, I'll see at the end." And once again, the man literally vanished in front of her eyes.

Martha turned around and walked out of the barn, and stepped in to a bleak corridor. She heaved the groceries in the crook of her arm and pulled the key out of her pocket. She opened the door, and entered the apartment that had been her home for the last seven weeks now. She dumped the groceries on the table, after first putting the Doctor's timey-wimey machine on the kitchen counter. After quickly clearing away the groceries, she made herself a cup of tea and she walked to the small living room. She sat down, and in peace and quiet she drank her tea.

She didn't remember nodding off on the old sofa that was the Doctor's bed on the occasion that he did sleep.

Martha found herself walking from her parent's house towards a blue box. She gave a small smile, this was going to be difficult, but she had no choice. She had to leave him. She opened the door, and entered the sentient ship. Calm came over her, as if this was the moment that she'd been waiting for.

The Doctor had been lost in thought, but he noticed her enter and leapt to his feet, babbling away a mile a minute.

"Right then! Off we go! The open road! There is a burst of starfire right now over the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Oh, the sky is like oil on water. Fancy a look? Or…back in time. We could…I don't know, Charles the Second? Henry the Eighth? I know! What about Agatha Christie? I'd love to meet Agatha Christie! I bet she's brilliant!"

His long speech lost momentum as he saw the look on her face. His shoulders sagged, and with his right hand he fumbled with a switch on the console. "Okay…" he muttered.

"I can't," Martha said.

"I know."

"I spent all this time learning how to become a doctor, and now my family needs me, and you need me, and I'm scared, because something is happening to me that I don't understand, and I'm really scared." Martha said in rushed tones.

"I know," the Doctor said and walked up to her and pulled her in an embrace. "You did well by coming to the end."

"The end?" Martha asked.

"The end of our travels together," the Doctor confirmed.

Suddenly the door to the TARDIS opened and two men walked in; a younger looking man in a cricket outfit and a man wearing a battered leather jacket. The man in the leather jacket closed the door and together the men walked up the ramp and waited until Martha had released herself from the Doctor's embrace, and faced them.

The younger looking man raised his hat to her. "Nice to meet you, Martha, I'm the Doctor."

"And so am I," the man in leather said.

Martha smiled. "What? Nice to meet me, or the Doctor?"

The man in the leather jacket smiled back at her. "Both," he said.

"What's going on?" Martha asked to the three men around her.

The man in the brown suit took a step forward, and took her hand in his. "What do you remember?" he asked.

"About what?" Martha answered.

"Everything…" the man in the cricket outfit said.

Martha racked her brain. Her eyes went wide with fear, and tears started to form as she looked at the three men. "Nothing…" she whispered. "Nothing, it's a blank."

"That is why we're here, the three of us, to help you remember," the man with the northern accent said.

"Shall we get to work?" the Doctor in the brown suit said.

Martha looked at him incredulously. She didn't like this; she was in a strange place -that at the same time didn't feel strange-, with three strange men she didn't know, but felt like she should, and they wanted to help her. Martha looked the man in the brown suit in the eye, it was strange, there was a feeling deep inside her that she could trust this man, and that he trusted her. And shouldn't you always follow your instincts?

"What are you going to do?" she asked, just to be sure. She was a scientist after all, she dealt with certainties.

"The four of us are going to go over your memories, every single one, until you remember," the northern Doctor said in reassured tones.

"You say as if it's going to be easy…" Martha said with a smile.

"Oh, Martha, it's not going to be that easy. But I never stop when I have to help someone I care about," the Doctor said.

Martha gave him another smile and nodded. "What do I have to do?"

-x-

Her right arm hurt like hell.

That was the first feeling that Martha had. Then she moved and pain shot across her back, and Martha couldn't help but whimper. She felt that someone was gently holding her left hand.

Gingerly she opened her eyes and blinked against the harsh light.

She could make out a shape; no, two shapes. One shape was sitting next to her and holding her hand, and the impression that she caught was brown; brown hair and brown clothes. The other shape was more blue, and black; blue clothes, and black hair.

Martha gave a small moan, and the hand holding hers gave a gentle squeeze.

"Martha?" the man next to her said.

Martha gave another small moan, and squeezed back. The man next to her giggled –yes, giggled- and stood up.

Martha opened her eyes properly, and the man came into focus.

Martha swallowed when she recognized him.

He'd come for her…

He'd saved her…

"Doctor?" she whispered.

"Hello, Martha Jones," he whispered back at her.

Tears started to form in Martha's eyes, as everything came crashing down. The pain, the humiliation, the kidnap.

Martha started to cry, and immediately the Doctor sat down on the bed she was lying on, and leaned in. He held her left in both hands and just let her cry.

"That's it, Martha. Let it out."

Martha continued to cry as the Doctor held her hand. After a few minutes, Martha settled down again a little. The Doctor let go of her hands, and brushed away her tears.

"Thank you," Martha whispered. Putting everything she was feeling into those two words.

"Martha, you are quite welcome."

-x-


	13. Chapter 13

**I got bitten with the writing bug! Well, not that you guys will complain. I love you all so much after the latest reviews I've gotten. It made my heart beat a little faster. Okay, on with this chapter. I hope you enjoy, and understand it, and I hope that you'll once again drop me a line with your thoughts. Cue some Rose-bashing:**

God, she was _so_ bored!

For the last three days she had sat here and had waited. Waited for the Doctor to finally finish whatever he was doing to that Martha Jones character, and notice her once again. She had read everything she could find here at Torchwood, anything that wasn't classified anyway. Every magazine that Gwen had brought, every book that Jack had in his office... well, the ones she understood anyway. And the magazines weren't really her thing anyway, she preferred _Heat_.

Three days ago, after the Doctor had said to them that he could save Martha, he had ordered Jack's doctor person –Owen was it? - that he should keep Martha asleep. So that man had hooked Martha up to something and the Doctor had run towards the console room. Curious, Rose and Jack had followed him. The Doctor had run around the console for almost ten minutes –Rose had sat on the console chair the entire time, silently seething with anger and disappointment that he was still that not giving her any real attention - and then he had stopped, and after a moment's pause he had pulled a lever.

Rose had looked up from checking her nails for imperfections, and was surprised by a sound. A sound that was so familiar, but it was the loudest she'd ever heard. And she suddenly realised it wasn't this TARDIS, it was coming from outside.

The Doctor made a mad dash for the doors and threw them open. Rose and Jack carefully came up behind him.

Not one, but two TARDISes were landing inside the Torchwood Hub. The one on the left became solid, and out stepped a young man, he had blond hair, and was wearing a light coloured outfit that Rose didn't recognize. Behind the young man, a young woman exited the TARDIS. She was wearing very short shorts and shirt that showed so much cleavage that Rose wasn't sure if she was wearing a bra.

"Doctor, what was the big emergency?" she asked in an American accent.

Rose did a double take. That was the Doctor? But he was always… more… handsome… Not that the man wasn't good looking, but the two Doctor's she knew always had something that made your heart beat faster, and this man clearly lacked that. It was as if… he wasn't her Doctor yet… not complete yet…

"I'm not sure, Peri," the Doctor answered. "Maybe one of them can give me an answer." He pointed to the Doctor and Jack.

"Doctor," the Doctor said.

"Doctor," the Fifth Doctor acknowledged him after looking him in the eye for a few moments. As if verifying his real identity.

Rose took a step forward, but was interrupted when the door to the other TARDIS opened and her Doctor stepped out. Her first Doctor... The Doctor she had healed.

Rose walked towards him with a smile. It was so good to see him again. She had missed him terribly, his blue eyes, his dorky smile… She halted for a second. What if she warned him? What if she told him about Torchwood… and told him what they were going to do? What if she told that they were going to be separated? What is the worst that could happen? Sure, the Reapers would probably turn up again, but the Doctor could take of that again, right? He had before.

"Doct…" she started to say.

But out of nowhere, the Doctor pushed her aside. "Don't you dare," he whispered in her ear.

"What are you talking about?" she said to him, feigning ignorance. "I just want to say 'hello'."

"Knowing you, you'll want to do more," the Doctor said. He turned to his previous incarnation. "Doctor..."

"Doctor," the Ninth Doctor said as well.

"Right gentlemen," the Doctor said, "if you'll follow me, I'll explain why you are here."

The other Doctor, the blond one, turned to his companion and told her to stay here for now. The girl nodded, and that was the last Rose had seen of all three Doctors for three days. Three long days the three Doctors were in the Tenth Doctor's TARDIS and were… -well, honestly Rose had no idea what they were doing- helping that Martha person.

On the first day, Torchwood had responded to Rift activity. Gwen, Tosh and Ianto had come back stating that they had a problem. Briefly pulling Jack away from the shenanigans in the TARDIS, they told him what happened. This time, not an alien had come through the Rift, but a plant-like organism. None of them had ever seen anything like it, Gwen had taken a few photos of it and Jack didn't have a clue either. Rose had been surprised when cleavage-girl had asked if she could see the photos.

"Come on, it's not like you know anything about alien plant life, is there?" Rose said in a childish tone. "How long have been travelling with the Doctor?"

Peri turned to look her in the eye, visibly bristling. "I've been travelling with the Doctor for almost a month and…"

Rose snorted, thus interrupting Peri. "Only a month? Don't think that's very long to already know about alien plants…"

"_And_… as I was going to say before I was very rudely interrupted," Peri said with a pointed glare to Rose, "I _am_ a botanist."

"A what…?" Rose asked incredulously.

Jack smiled and grabbed Peri's hand and pulled her forward. "Brilliant," he said, "Peri… if you wouldn't mind working with my team; I really appreciate any help you can give."

Peri nodded in consent. "I'll see what I can do. How is it going in there?" She pointed to the Tenth Doctor's TARDIS.

"I'm not sure," Jack said. "According to the Doctor, the Tenth I mean, they are going to go through all Martha's memories and… well, the only way I can explain it is that they're going to make her remember her past. All of her memories are whirling away in her head, and she's mixing them up. They're going to make sure that she remembers everything and then Martha's own mind will put them back where they're supposed to go."

Peri, Gwen and Tosh looked at Jack in amazement.

"But I want to go back in now," Jack said. "I can leave this in your hands?"

The Torchwood team and Peri nodded and promised that if they truly needed his help, they would come and get him. Jack made his way to the TARDIS, and entered the ship. The Torchwood team and Peri got to work.

Once again, leaving Rose with nothing to do.

And so it had go on for three days. Everyone had something to do, but not Rose. They only looked at her when coffee or tea had to be made, of food had to be ordered. Gwen had told her that normally, yes, that was Ianto's job, but even he was now to busy with other things, and since she, Rose, had nothing better to do… And every time she'd tried to complain with Jack, Gwen had pulled her aside and given her a task. Most of the time it was more fetching food and beverages, sometimes it was filing…

And the worst part that they wouldn't let her near either three TARDISes; for her, they were off limits. Everyone was allowed in, but not her.

To pass the time a bit more, Rose had done some shopping. She had bought a few nice dresses she could wear to all those wonderful restaurants on alien planets that the Doctor was going to take her. She had bought two very skimpy bikinis that she was sure would make the Doctor's hearts beat faster… thank God she knew the basics of CPR, because he was going to need it. In a shoe store she found a pair of killer heels that made her long legs look even longer. She had thought about going to a hair dressers too, but hadn't; she didn't want to come over as insincere about the situation Martha was in. Even she had some limits.

She had dropped her shopping in the big conference room, in a corner, where they waited for her triumphant return to the TARDIS.

On the third day, all three Doctor had emerged from the Tenth Doctor's TARDIS, all three with a smile on her face.

"Can't wait to travel with her properly," the Ninth Doctor said. "Martha seems very sweet and brave."

"Oh," the Doctor assured him, "she is."

The two Doctor shook hands, and the Ninth Doctor briefly looked at Rose. There was a look on his face that Rose didn't recognize and didn't like either. The Ninth Doctor walked to his TARDIS –while the Tenth Doctor went back inside his own- and after a few moments the ship faded away.

Peri, now realising that whatever was going on was now over, stood up from where she'd perched on a stool behind Tosh's computer –she was fascinated with the concept of the internet, and had hardly left the computer alone after Ianto had explained the basics to her- and made her way to her own Doctor's TARDIS and waited. She shot Rose a glare; after their initial contact, the two girls had hardly spoken two words with each other.

The remaining two Doctor walked out of the TARDIS and walked to the last remaining TARDIS. The Doctor shook Peri's hand.

"It was lovely seeing you, Peri," the Doctor said.

Peri looked at the man in the brown suit, and then to the Doctor she knew. "What exactly is going on here and who exactly is he?" she asked.

The Doctor smiled and the Fifth Doctor sighed. "I'll explain later," he said. "Goodbye, Doctor. See you in the mirror."

"One day, yes," the Doctor answered. "Still all my love to long ago."

The Fifth Doctor gave a knowing smile. "Come on, Peri. Best be off."

A minute later, the Fifth Doctor and his companion had dematerialized in their TARDIS. Once again there was only TARDIS inside the Hub, the real TARDIS, the proper TARDIS… her home.

The Doctor turned and went back, leaving the door slightly open. Rose followed him across the console room, and through the corridors until she reached a room. She peeked in and saw a bedroom that was rather boring in her opinion. The walls were painted in a simple off-white colour, there was carpet on the floor, TARDIS blue; on Rose's left was a simple vanity and against the far wall was a queens size bed in dark mahogany. Martha was lying in bed, the Doctor was on a chair next to her holding her left hand, Jack was sitting at the foot end of the bed.

"What now, Doctor?" Jack asked.

"Now we wait until she wakes up," the Doctor answered.

"How long will that take, do you think?"

"No idea, but I'm not leaving until she does."

Rose walked into the room. All the pent up anger from the last few days was now boiling over. She had been ignored ever since she'd come back, and no one was giving her any answers.

"It doesn't matter how long it takes until she wakes up?" Rose said. The Doctor and Jack started and turned towards her. She felt pleased that she now finally had their attention. "Doctor, why don't you just bring her to her family, and you can go back to travelling the universe!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Now, this chapter is a bit shorter. But I figured I share it with you all the same. To keep up your appetite. And I wanted to take this moment and tell you all that I love you guys. Every chapter, my phone keeps going 'ding!' with reviews and author and story alerts. With the last chapter: 13 in less then 24 hours! You guys are crazy, but I still love you. It warms my heart, it truly does. And it doesn't matter that you send me a few words or rather lenghty ones (yes, Elizabeth the Canuck, I'm looking at you ;-D ) I read them all. **

_"It doesn't matter how long it takes until she wakes up?" Rose said. The Doctor and Jack started and turned towards her. She felt pleased that she now finally had their attention. "Doctor, why don't you just bring her to her family, and you can go back to travelling the universe!" _

The Doctor looked Rose in the eye. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had she honestly said that? Had she honestly said that he should just dump Martha with her family and go of gallivanting? He took a deep breath, he'd had enough of this.

The Doctor carefully placed Martha's hand on the bed and stood up. He walked over to Rose.

"I should just bring Martha back to her family?" he said through gritted teeth. "And go back travelling? With who…_ you_?"

"Yes, Doctor," Rose said, an ecstatic look on her face that the Doctor was finally coming to see sense. "Look, I understand that you're worried about Martha, and…"

"No, Rose," the Doctor interrupted her. "_You_ don't understand. I've gone beyond worried… Martha was there for me, when I needed her the most. And I'll be damned not to be there for her now that she needs me… And let me tell you another thing, I… "

The Doctor was interrupted when there was a small moan and a little movement came from the bed. He quickly made his way back to her side, and took her hand in his again. Jack rose from the food of the bed and watched Martha apprehensively. Rose took a step forward, looking at the frail young woman in the bed.

Ever so slowly, the Doctor saw that Martha was opening her eyes. She squinted against the light and the Doctor could tell that she saw him, but couldn't focus on him.

Holding her hand gingerly, worried about causing her more pain, the Doctor whispered her name. "Martha…?"

Martha's eyes opened a bit more, and he could tell that she could focus enough now to see him properly. She squeezed his hand, and from elation he actually giggled.

"Doctor…?" she whispered.

"Hello, Martha Jones…" he answered.

Martha's eyes became unfocused again, but only for a few moments. Then a clarity appeared… an understanding… And the Doctor knew…

She remembered…

Tears started to form in his best friends eyes. The Doctor immediately moved to sit on the side of the bed and took her hand in both of his. Martha started to cry, so the Doctor leaned in slightly, desperately trying to comfort her without causing her pain.

"That's it, Martha," he whispered. "Let it out."

Martha continued to cry, heavy sobs wracked her aching body, until the Doctor was certain that she had no tears left to cry. After what seemed like hours, Martha settled a little.

With bloodshot eyes, and damp checks she looked at him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

And the Doctor knew what she meant, because weeks ago he had said those same words to try and express his gratitude, but never could. The only thing he could do to even remotely make up for what she'd done for him was be here for her now.

"Martha, you are quite welcome."

-x-

Jack led Rose out the TARDIS. The young woman was slightly struggling for him to let her go, because he was holding her elbow in a tight grip.

"Jack…!" she warned. "let go of me. You're hurting me!"

Jack marched her out of the TARDIS door, and closed it firmly behind him. Only there he let go of her.

"What the hell are you playing at?" he practically snarled at her.

Rose looked at him. "What do you mean?"

Jack pinched his nose. An action that nobody had ever seen from him. Suddenly he held out his hand. Rose took it, feeling pleased that he was very clearly no longer mad at her, and wanted to make amends.

Jack pulled his hand back, looked at her pointedly, and held it out again. Rose faltered.

"I don't know how you got it…" Jack started. "And I don't care."

Rose flushed, and slowly pulled Jack's Torchwood credit card from her back pocket and handed it over.

"Still got the receipts for everything you bought?" he asked.

Rose nodded.

"Good, 'cause you're bringing it all back. Ianto will go with you…"

Rose flushed cheeks palled once Jack's words seeped into her brain. Jack had walked away already, and he was now talking to Ianto, who nodded. Rose reached out and grabbed Jack's arm.

"Would do you mean 'I have to bring it all back'?" she asked.

"Just the way it sounds. You're going to go to the conference room to get all those bags, take everything you bought back to the store you bought it, and you're going to get me back every dime of the money you stole from me," Jack explained in a tone of voice that seemed like he was talking to a five-year old.

"Why?" Rose yelled. "I did nothing wrong."

Jack laughed and coughed, almost chocking. Ianto clapped him on the back a few times.

"Oh, Rose…" Jack managed to say through coughing fits. "You are really delusional." He gave another cough. "Now, by a good girl and return those stupid things you bought. It will take a bit more than some skimpy bikini's for the Doctor to notice you."

Whit that he gave Ianto a pointed look –Ianto gave him a curd nod- and stalked off.

Rose sighed and trudged up the stairs to the conference room, with Ianto following her like a shadow.

"I'm not a child," she bit to Ianto.

Ianto gave her a pleasant smile. "Never said you are."

Rose grabbed the bags, and left the conference room. She noticed from the corner of her eye that the Doctor was leaning out the door of the TARDIS talking to Jack. She looked at the two men, and then the Doctor noticed her. His eyes darted to the bags in her hand. He looked back at Jack and nodded. Jack and the Doctor quickly shook hands and the Doctor disappeared into the sentient ship, and closed the door. Jack stepped away and clasped his hands behind his back.

Then the TARDIS dematerialised.

It's wheezing and groaning take-off sound filled the Hub, reverberating around the walls; the light on top of the blue box flashing it's goodbye; the draft it caused blowing the papers on various desks and workstation in all directions.

Rose dropped the bags.

"He left me," she muttered.

Jack overheard her words and walked up to her. He finally had enough of her.

"Yes, Rose, " he whispered in her ear. "He left you, because he has more important things to do then cater to your little fantasy of you and him playing happy families. Martha needs him, and he needs Martha. He moved on after he lost you. You obviously didn't. What did you expect? That once you were back here, he would run the street and sweep you up in his arms? That he would forget everything and everyone once he saw you again? That not even a Dalek would stop him? Get over yourself. There are only two ladies in the Doctor's life: the TARDIS and Martha Jones. You no longer fit in his life."

Tears ran over Rose's cheeks, messing up her mascara. Nobody had ever talked to her like that. And she didn't like it.

Rose angrily brushed the tears away. "Well then… according to your own theory, you don't fit into his life either."

Jack turned to her. "I know. But I can live with that."

-x-

The Doctor circled the console and brought the TARDIS safely and calmly into the vortex. Once her was completely reassured that they were safe, he locked the necessary controls, but let the handbrake off. With Martha's old mobile in his hand, he walked back to Martha's room.

Martha was still awake and was half-lying half-sitting comfortably in several cushions that were around her body. She gave him a weak smile, and once again the Doctor was amazed that even though she clearly wasn't well, she could still smile and make him feel better.

"Hi," she whispered.

The Doctor sat down on the left side of the bed and took her hand. "Hi."

Martha sighed. "I felt the TARDIS move."

The Doctor nodded. "I moved the TARDIS into the vortex. I think we both need the time to recuperate."

Martha nodded. She settled into the cushions and closed her eyes. Suddenly she opened them again. "My family. They'll be…"

The Doctor pressed her old mobile into her left hand and stood up. "You call them, I'll go and make us a cup of tea. Still, a little sugar and no milk?"

TBC

**Next chapter: fluff alert for the Doctor and Martha becoming even closer...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Again, a shorter chapter. I know that I promised a fluffy chapter, and this is the fluffiest I could make it. And some angst did creep in there. Some bits I'm not sure about. But I like it. I wanted to show a.. collage, if you will of short bits in the relationship between the Doctor and Martha. AND I've put in one small glimps of a future plotpoint. Remember please that I continue to love your reviews.**

The people of Meta Sigma Folio were a simple people; it was a farmer's world. Live was simple, the people worked hard, and there was virtually no crime. The most astounding thing about Folio –as they themselves called their planet- was the sky. Almost every night as the sun went down the sky would be ablaze with light. Every colour imaginable was there to be found, from the brightest yellow through the pinkest of pink to the brightest of red, and all in between. Travellers from millions of light years would come and see their sky, but the people of Folio didn't know, space travel was hundreds of years ahead of them.

So they didn't know about a blue box that hovered lazily above them. And they didn't know about the man and woman who were sitting in the open doors of the blue box, swinging their legs into space. They didn't know that the man and woman were sitting there in comfortable silence, just enjoying a nice cup of tea.

-x-

The people of Shan Shen saw the man and woman walking, but paid them little attention. The brief attention they did attract was because the woman's right arm was in a sling and the man didn't leave her side; in fact, the man and woman continuously walked around holding hands.

They didn't speak to each other; they used gestures and facial expressions, but no words were spoken.

The people of Shan Shen were used to strangers on their world. The strangers could be blue, green, or have tentacles all over; they were used to everything.

But the obvious bond between the man in the brown suit and the woman with her arm in the sling was something new, something they had never seen.

-x-

William Shakespeare had never thought that he would see the Doctor and Martha Jones again. He saw them walking along the Thames, Martha's left hand in the crook of the Doctor's right arm; Martha's right arm was held up against her abdomen with a simple sling.

They didn't talk, but the silence was not awkward.

William could tell even from the distance, that those two had been through hell together and were now dealing with their pain… together.

-x-

The Doctor gently lowered Martha onto the sofa in the library.

"I can walk, you know," Martha muttered.

"I know," the Doctor said. "But please humour me…?" He looked at her. Martha laughed. He had widened his eyes, and stuck out his lower lip. He looked like a big puppy dog.

"So what do you want to read…?" he asked.

Martha shrugged. "I don't know, you decide for me…"

"Oh, a challenge…" the Doctor giggled, bouncing on the tips of toes, eliciting another laugh from Martha. "I like a challenge; I like to challenge you…" And muttering more to himself, the Doctor vanished between the giant stacks of books.

After a few minutes he returned with two books, and he found Martha fast asleep.

Martha woke up in her bed, and smiled.

-x-

Martha was struck with a flurry of déjà-vu when she woke from a nightmare and found the Doctor looking at her, lying on his side next to her.

Quickly, Martha brushed the tears away that had appeared in her fear.

The Doctor took her hand in his own.

"Please don't," he whispered. "You don't have to hide from me."

Martha looked at him.

"Two," she whispered.

He held her for the rest of the night…

… and every other night after that.

-x-

Hidden under the covers, with only her nose and eyes peeking out, Martha whispered something.

The Doctor was sitting on the edge, "What's that, Martha?"

Martha whispered it again. The Doctor blush a deep red.

"I know," he whispered back. "But a while ago the situation was reversed wasn't it? You didn't hear me complain…"

"That's because you were unconscious," Martha whispered.

The Doctor gave her small smile. "I'll keep my eyes closed, promise…"

Martha nodded, and with her still painful back and arm, she sat up a little. "I'm scared," Martha whispered.

"I know," the Doctor answered.

"It's just that the last time I was… with a man… alone…"

The Doctor reached out and placed his hands on her cheeks. "I know…"

The Doctor released her, stood up and closed his eyes. For a few seconds Martha waited, but then came out from under the covers of her bed, and stood up as well. Still a little unsteady on her feet, she turned her back to the Doctor.

"Okay…"

She felt the Doctor's hands on her shoulders. The hands trailed down, over her arms, until they rested on her hips. Martha gave a small shudder in fear.

"It's just me," the Doctor said. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Slowly, Martha led both of them to her bathroom. There, the Doctor helped her –still with his eyes closed- out of the shirt she was wearing and into the bath.

Six weeks later, the Doctor removed the pins from Martha's arm.

He no longer had to help her take a bath after that.

-x-

Martha found the Doctor sitting in the console room, his feet dangling out of the open door. She sat down next to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

The Doctor sighed. "I just got a phone call from Jack…"

"Oh, how is Jack?" Martha asked. "Is there something wrong?"

"He's fine," the Doctor answered.

Martha looked at him in confusion. "Then why did he call?"

With his gaze on the dark scenery ahead, the Doctor said, "There something I haven't told you."

Martha didn't ask him, so allowed him to come with the answers in his own time.

It had been like that the entire seven weeks now. Neither asked the other the uncomfortable questions, they just said what was on their mind. They didn't judge each other, they didn't yell, they didn't argue; they offered each other comfort, and friendship.

Martha had told him all about her childhood, the pain of being the middle child, always being the one to mediate between her parents and siblings. She told him about her parent's nasty divorce, about Annalise, and her predecessor. The Doctor had always assumed that Annalise was the reason that her parents were no longer together, but Martha had set him straight; no, it had been her mum's assistant Tiffany. And once the novelty of her had worn off, her dad had traded Tiffany in for Annalise.

And she told him about the kidnap, how it had happened, what he had done to her, the pain of breaking her arm, the whip, and the rock solid belief that the Doctor would find her.

In return the Doctor told her about his home, his family, his past regenerations, and his friends, and companions. And he told her about Rose. How she had helped him to see the good side of the being alive again. Martha finally understood why it had been so hard for him to let her go during their initial travels. The Doctor apologised profusely for how he had treated her, Martha forgave him with ease.

And he told her how he had lost Rose.

So it was a bit of a shock for Martha what the Doctor said next.

"Rose is at Torchwood…" he said.

"What…?" Martha exclaimed. "But how?"

"I'm not sure," the Doctor said. "I've been ignoring her actually."

"Why?" Martha asked him gently.

"Because…" the Doctor started. He stood up, and automatically helped Martha to her feet as well, and closed the doors. He started pacing, walking circle after circle around the console. "She came back the day I found you. She came running down the street, and into the TARDIS. She launched herself at me, saying that we could be together again. And there is no doubt in mind to what she really means with that."

Martha gave him a look. "You mean, 'together' together."

"Exactly," the Doctor said. "And I don't want that. Just before we left Torchwood, I had a quick chat with Jack. Apparently, Rose had stolen Jack's credit card and had done a little shopping."

"Define shopping?" Martha asked, already not liking were this was going.

"Oh, shopping of 'little' items," the Doctor answered with a smirk. Martha nodded and gave a smile; she understood.

"She thought that if she would show a little skin –or a lot of it- you would drop everything and sweep her up like you two were in a sixties-film, right?" Martha said with a knowing smile.

She had realised after lengthy conversations with the Doctor that he sought more in his friends.

"Precisely," the Doctor said. "Rose… I don't know what she wants… I think that she just wants to travel me again, and be as childish as we were before. Not have a care in the universe."

The Doctor stopped his pacing. "Life doesn't work like that, and Rose doesn't realise that. Life hardly ever works out the way you want."

Martha nodded and walked up to him. Gently, she placed her arms around his waist, as the Doctor did the same.

"You have to go talk to her," Martha implored him. "For real."

The Doctor nodded.

"So why did Jack call you specifically?" Martha asked.

"Well, Rose has gone a little… nuts…"

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry about the delay in updating. RL is sometimes a bitch. **

"So you two are just going to hover around inside the vortex?" Jack asked, just to be sure.

The Doctor nodded. "Safe and sound."

"And…?" Jack said, with a small smirk. He knew that there was something that the Doctor wasn't saying.

"Martha was there for me when I needed someone the most," the Doctor said. "Now, she needs me, and I'm going to be there for her."

Jack nodded. He had realised awhile ago that in the weeks that the Doctor had stayed in Martha's backyard, the relationship between the two had changed. He had seen it during his several visits. They could almost read each other's minds; they communicated without words, just gestures, and –that was in Jack's opinion the most astonishing thing- Martha was the only one who could touch him. He had seen the Doctor after Rose had returned, and he knew that the blond had done something, because when he had entered the TARDIS, the Doctor had been on edge, and had avoided being even in close proximity to both him and Rose. And even though he had grabbed Francine's hand, he had released her the second it was no longer necessary.

The thoughts of Rose brought Jack back to the present. "Doctor, what are you going to do about Rose? I mean, you can't avoid her forever."

"I know," the Doctor said. "There's something…" the Doctor faltered.

"Doctor…?" Jack asked gently.

"There's something about her now that scares me…" the Doctor whispered.

Jack nodded his understanding. "Why don't you and Martha recuperate fully, come back and in the mean time I'll deal with Rose…"

The Doctor glanced behind Jack. Jack looked over his shoulder and saw Rose standing there, shopping bags in her hand with Ianto behind her like a bodyguard.

"I appreciate everything you're doing, Jack," the Doctor said, and held out his hand.

Jack shook it. "Doctor, you're my friend. I look out for my friends."

The Doctor nodded and disappeared into his ship. Jack took a few steps back and patiently watched as the ship left with her two passengers.

Jack clenched his hands into fists as he heard Rose mutter behind him. "He left me."

Those simple words were it for Jack. He'd had enough. He walked up to her and immediately invaded her personal space.

"Yes, Rose, " he whispered in her ear. "He left you, because he has more important things to do then cater to your little fantasy of you and him playing happy families. Martha needs him, and he needs Martha. He moved on after he lost you. You obviously didn't. What did you expect? That once you were back here, he would run the street and sweep you up in his arms? That he would forget everything and everyone once he saw you again? That not even a Dalek would stop him? Get over yourself. There are only two ladies in the Doctor's life: the TARDIS and Martha Jones. You no longer fit in his life."

Jack knew that no one had ever talked to her like that. Everyone always looked after her, and she always got what she wanted. First her mother, then Mickey; and then the Doctor had shown up and he had taken her from her boring life and had given her the whole of time and space. And Rose had discovered that she was doing something for the Doctor that no one else could, she had taken a bit of his loneliness away. But in her young and impressionable mind, Rose had mistaken his kindness and caring for love. And it wasn't even Jack could blame her for feeling that way. He had felt it himself, but he was mature and down-to-earth enough for seeing it for what it really was; kindness and caring. Jack turned and walked away.

Rose's cheeks were now marred with mascara stains, but she angrily brushed the tears away. "Well then… according to your own theory, you don't fit into his life either."

Jack turned to her. "I know. But I can live with that."

Rose huffed angrily and left the Hub, Ianto in tow.

An hour later, Ianto returned –alone.

"Where's Rose?" Jack asked.

Ianto looked at him guiltily. "After the last shop, she did a runner. I chased her, but lost her in the crowd. Tosh is checking CCTV as we speak."

Unfortunately, Tosh didn't have any luck.

-x-x-

_Twenty-four hours later_

Jack's mobile rang. He didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" he asked in a cheery-slash- flirtatious voice.

"Jack…?"

"Ye-s…" he said. He recognized the voice, but couldn't immediately place it.

"Jack, it's me, Tish…"

Jack smiled, even though he knew that Tish couldn't see him.

"Hey Tish, how is my nightingale's sister?" he flirted.

"I'm okay, and you?" Tish asked.

"All the better now that I'm hearing your voice."

Tish laughed. "Stop it," she admonished him.

Jack smiled even brighter. "With you... never."

Tish giggled, and then fell silent.

"Tish, is something wrong? Is it Martha?" Jack asked worryingly.

Tish immediately answered. "No, Jack, Martha is fine. She called us to let us know she was okay. That she's with the Doctor, just recuperating."

"That's good to hear," Jack said. "So how do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

Tish sighed. "Do you know a girl named Rose?"

Jack sighed as well. "What did she do?"

-x-

_Eight hours later_

Jack's mobile rang again and _again_ he didn't recognize the number. But after Tish's story –Francine had still been so mad that she hadn't been able to talk in coherent sentences- Jack dreaded an unknown number.

"Hello…?" he answered the phone carefully.

"Captain Harkness? I'm Donna, you remember? I travelled with the Doctor, I got your number from Tish Jones," a woman said.

"Yes, I remember." Jack answered. He had only met her briefly on the day Martha disappeared and the day the Doctor had been kidnapped.

"Good, because I need your help. I've just been paid a visit by Rose Tyler…"

Jack sighed. "Tell me…"

-x-

Jack twirled the mobile twice in his hand, then bounced it twice on his desk, and then repeated the motion. He had been able to put this off for almost seven weeks, but he couldn't anymore. Things had gone too far, and only the Doctor could help now.

Before he could talk himself out of waiting a few more days, he searched for the Doctor's number and pressed 'dial'. After a few rings the Doctor answered.

_"Jack?"_ the Doctor said. _"Everything alright?" _

Jack hesitated. It was answer enough for the Doctor apparently. _"What's wrong?"_ the Doctor asked.

"It's Rose…" Jack said.

There was a sigh from the other end of the line. _"Tell me." _

"Uhm… she went to London, got in touch with the Jones family, and Donna and basically demanded from them that they contacted you," Jack said lightning fast.

_"She what…!"_ the Doctor yelled.

"Apparently, she went to Francine first, because she thought because of Martha you would go there first. How she found out where Francine lives, I don't know. Rose rang the bell and literally forced her way into the house and demanded to speak with you. When Francine said that she didn't know where you were, Rose didn't believe her. She started to search the house for you."

_"She didn't…"_ the Doctor muttered.

"She did…" Jack confirmed. "Francine figured that Rose was nuts –she remembered her being on board the TARDIS and her behaviour there- and just let her do it. Hoping that Rose realised you weren't there and would leave. When Rose indeed didn't find you there, Rose wanted Francine to contact you. Francine explained that Martha had called her, that she -Martha- was fine and that they hadn't spoken since. Rose didn't buy it and demanded that she call you. Luckily, at that point Tish came in and literally threw Rose out."

_"Go Tish,"_ the Doctor said, a slight sense of awe in his voice.

"I know, I said the same thing when she called me and told me," Jack said and laughed. "Tish has become very protective of her family ever since… you know."

_"Yeah…"_ the Doctor said, remembering. _"So, Tish threw Rose out and then Rose went to Donna…?"_

"Yep," Jack said. "Roughly the same thing happened there. Only difference being that Donna being Donna…"

Jack faltered.

_"What did she do…?" _the Doctor asked, his tone a mixture of fear and glee.

Jack coughed. "She-slapped-Rose-so-hard-she-knocked-her-out," Jack said fast.

_"NO…!" _the Doctor yelled.

"Yes," Jack muttered. "They tied her up, and called me. I went to London, picked her up and brought her back here. She's been at the Hub for the last seven weeks."

"Okay," the Doctor. "But why call me now?"

Jack sighed; here came the hard part. "Doctor, for the last seven weeks Rose has been here living in the Hub and frankly she's starting to get on everyone's nerves. She interferes with all of the work here, keeps my team from doing their work, and on two of the four occasions she actually managed to get out, she endangered civilian lives -just people who were passing by- by putting them directly in the path of hostile aliens."

The Doctor remained silent, but from the heavier breathing Jack could tell that the Doctor was getting mad. And he was about to make it worse.

"Between those two events, she managed to escape twice more; both times stating that she would keep doing it until I call you. I didn't want to lock her up, so I allowed her to walk around the Hub. Now, I've had no choice but to lock her in a cell."

Jack sighed. "Doctor, I'm at a loss on what to do. I don't know anymore. I need your help. But by calling you I'm still giving her what she wants."

"Jack," the Doctor said, anger brimming in his voice. "I'm on my way."

-x-x-

The sound of the TARDIS materializing reverberated throughout the Hub. Jack rushed out his office to greet it.

The door opened and the Doctor –looking better than Jack had expected- and Martha –with her arm in a sling- stepped out. They were holding hands.

The Doctor went straight down to business. "Where is she?"

Jack motioned for him to follow him.

"I told her that I had called you and you were coming," Jack said.

The Doctor nodded, but remained silent. Still clinging to Martha's hand.

"How did she react…?" Martha asked.

"She smiled, said it was about time, and asked if she could take a shower," Jack answered. "After that Gwen accompanied her for that shower, and we put her in an interview room."

Jack stopped outside a door, and pointed to monitor; it showed a video feed of Rose. She was pacing the length of the room she was in, clearly nervous as she was biting her fingernails.

"You can see and hear everything?" the Doctor asked.

Jack nodded, realising what the Doctor was really asking. "First sign of trouble, I'll be there."

The Doctor released Martha's hand and reached out to the doorknob. His hand was shaking. Martha took a step forward and placed her hand on his arm.

He turned to face her and smiled. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Martha watched as a mask slid over his face, revealing none of his true feelings. This time as his hand went for the doorknob his hand wasn't shaking.

-x-

The Doctor closed the door behind him. Rose turned to face him with a bright smile.

"There you are. What took you so long?" she asked.

"I had to be there for Martha," he answered. "She's was more important."

Rose nodded. "I understand. You owe her, because of something she's done for you. Probably when you two travelled together. But now, she's gone, and we can go back to what is really important."

"And what is that, Rose?" the Doctor asked.

"Travelling together again, silly!" Rose exclaimed, and reached out and took his hand. "You and me, the Doctor and Rose, like it was meant to be. We will go back to what it was like before I was taken away from you."

The Doctor pulled his hand from Rose's grasp. "What about what _I_ want?"

Rose faltered a little. "How can you not want to go back to the way we were?"

"Rose…" he started, having already decided to give her the bare esentials just so she would understand. "Eleven months ago I was travelling with Donna, she wanted to go home to visit her grandfather, so we went. I went for a walk and I was kidnapped. For eight months I was hurt, until Martha and Jack saved me. After that, I can't go back to just travelling. I can't."

"Of course, you can," Rose implored. "If you just go back to your old life, you know, from… before, you can go on faster. It's been almost a year, you need to let go of what happened and move on." She took another step forward and pulled him into a hug.

The Doctor froze. After those eight months he didn't like people touching him. Only Martha could, because she was the only one he completely trusted, and knew when to back away. But now, with Rose touching him like this, pressing her body against his…

He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Panic started to rage in his mind, flashes of horrible memories overpowered him. Rose's hands moved down his back towards his bum. That's when he truly panicked. But in his fear he still couldn't move, he couldn't push her away.

Suddenly, she was gone. A gentle arm pulled him to the ground and embraced him. He could hear muttering in his ear, but what the words meant he didn't know. Slowly, his fear addled mind processed that it was Martha who was holding him. Rose was on the other side of the room, held back by Jack, with an incredulous look on her face.

"What the hell did you do to him…?"Rose yelled at Martha.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Another new chapter. This one just flew out of my fingers, it was kind of scary. Please note the following warning: NON-CON! Reviews are something I love and crave. This chapter is going to be graphic, especially at the end. **

Martha was seething with anger. Anger directed at Rose Tyler. How dare she do this? How dare she hurt the Doctor so much? Didn't the stupid girl see how much pain the Doctor was still in? Didn't she see or understand that the Doctor didn't have to explain himself to her? That he just wanted a friend?

But another part of Martha –the most rational part- did insist that she couldn't really blame Rose. Rose had been told nothing about the events of the last year. Only that the Doctor had been kidnapped and hurt. But then the anger part reared its head again and said that Rose should just open her eyes. As far as Martha was concerned Rose lived in her own little world, where only what she wanted to see and hear bled through, and anything that she didn't want she ignored and always got her way.

But that was no longer an option. Martha was here now in the Doctor's life, and she was not leaving.

With her arm around the Doctor's shoulders, Martha tried desperately to sooth him. She brushed her hand up and down his arm, whispering in his ear.

"Breath, Doctor… calmly in and out… I'm here… I'm not leaving… You're safe… Jack had pulled her away… Breath…"

Then out of nowhere, Rose´s voice came. And she said something that made Martha´s blood boil.

"What the hell did you do to him…?" Rose demanded.

Martha looked up at her. She rose to her feet and walked to Rose who was still being held back by Jack. Martha got right up in her face. A million things ran through her mind, hundreds of snarky remarks, but none came out.

So she said, with disgust in her voice: "Open your eyes, Rose."

Rose huffed in anger and was ready to retort, but Martha had already turned away and was now once again crouching down next to the Doctor. He had now calmed down enough, his breathing had become less laboured, and the blatant fear in his eyes had abated.

"Martha…?" he whispered.

"I'm here," she answered.

"I need to leave," the Doctor said.

"Of course," Martha said. "Come on; let me help you get back to the TARDIS. You can lie down for a bit."

The Doctor nodded and slowly got to his feet. With her arm around his waist, Martha slowly guided him from the small interview room –completely ignoring Rose-, but she did give Jack a quick look. She couldn't really identify the look in his eyes, but Martha did realise that Jack wasn't happy.

"I'll make her understand," Jack said quickly.

Martha nodded and walked out with the Doctor. Slowly they walked through the long corridor, took a right into another corridor that led into the Hub. They crossed it and entered the waiting ship. They crossed the console room and through the door that led into the corridor that now contained the Doctor's room.

The Doctor pushed the door open and walked in. Martha followed him, not quite certain if he wanted to be alone for a while or if he wanted her company. The Doctor sat down on his bed.

"Why doesn't she understand…" he whispered. "?Why doesn't she see?"

Martha sat down beside him. "I don't think she can understand. No one can…"

"You did," the Doctor interrupted her.

Martha gave him a weak smile. "That's because I saw the shape you were in when we found you. And he hurt me too. I'm sure if the roles were reversed she wouldn't act the way she is now."

The Doctor shook his head. "No, she would. I know her… she would."

"Doctor, you can't know that for sur…"

The Doctor turned to face her properly, and took her left hand in his. "No, she doesn't care about people like you do. When I first flew away with her it was a spur of the moment thing. I had planned to show her a few things and then drop her back off back home. But I got it a bit wrong…"

"Wrong…?" Martha asked. A bit intrigued and wary of what she was going to hear.

"I wanted to bring her home twelve hours later, it ended up being twelve months…" the Doctor answered, a slight blush tinted his cheeks.

Martha gasped. "Ouch, not good. Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"It wasn't my finest hour…" he said a bit embarrassed.

Martha gave a small laugh. "So, you brought her home a year later…"

"Yes," the Doctor said. "But then an alien crashed in London, destroying Big Ben, and I had to fix that. But the thing about Rose was that she just didn't seem to care that her mother had been worried sick for that year. There were missing posters all around, her boyfriend Mickey had been brought in for questioning, and Rose didn't care. It had only been three days for her, so as far as she was concerned it wasn't that big of a deal."

"You told me a few things about Rose, but never this," Martha said.

The Doctor shrugged. "It was easier to forget or gloss over her faults after I lost her. It took time and her being here again to open my eyes about it."

Martha smiled and squeezed his hand.

"She still went with me after that," the Doctor continued. "Jackie –Rose's mum- begged her to stay. But she went anyway."

"Why did you take her along?" Martha asked. It wasn't a side of her she liked, but she was thrilled to hear the Doctor talking about Rose like this. Martha had always assumed that Rose was a paradigm of sweetness and after she'd met the girl she just didn't see it, and Martha was starting to realise that the Doctor was starting to see it too.

"I was being selfish," the Doctor answered. "I was lonely, and I wanted –needed- the company. I knew what she was like from those first few trips. She talked down to Gwyneth, a girl from the nineteenth century. She witnessed the end of the Earth and said that she knew how I felt when I told her that my home planet was gone. It was like it didn't matter what was happening around her as long as she got what she wanted and was the centre of attention. She asked me once to go and meet her dad. He died when she was still a baby. Against my better judgement, I brought her there. Maybe if I relieved her of some of her burdens about the death of her father, I could cope with being alone better… I don't know. What did she do? She went and saved his life. An ordinary man in the world and she saved his life –even after I told her not too- and the world ended. If Pete hadn't sacrificed his own life, the world would have ended there and then. Pete was the selfless one there, not Rose. She wanted her daddy back and she would do whatever it took to get him. And that is not even one of the worst things she's done…"

The Doctor fell silent after that lengthy speech, leaving Martha with a faint feeling of shock. She didn't claim to be an expert, but she knew that you should save the lives of people who were dead. Yes, she had thought about asking the Doctor taking her to see her maternal grandmother one last time. The woman had meant a lot to her, and Martha had wanted to see her again, one last time. But she knew that that would have impossible for her to watch, and knowing that on the day she would have left the Doctor she would have to go back to life where her grandmother wasn't.

"What else did she do…?" Martha asked, dreading the answer.

"It wasn't what she did do –well she did do something once- but what she didn't do," the Doctor answered sadly. "She gave up on me time and time again. She never figured things out for herself; she never gave me something to make me proud of her. She always needed my support or instructions when something happened. And she always waited for me to fix things. During my regenerative trauma, the Sycorax came; Rose went to the TARDIS to wait it out. I met Madame the Pompadour; Rose waited by a broken Time Window for five and half hours for my return without even trying to go back to the TARDIS. She would have allowed herself to fall into a black hole, because she thought I'd died. She didn't even want to try and start and new life in the fifty-first century. It was like her life didn't matter as long as I wasn't in it anymore."

Martha was shocked and was even more shocked when the Doctor told her: "And she once tore open the TARDIS, looked into her heart, and made the TARDIS fly back to me. She caused that Jack can never die. The TARDIS was in pain, and was crying in my mind to make Rose stop. Rose just saw the TARDIS as a means back to me."

"But the TARDIS is… your home… your friend…" Martha said incredulously. "I know I will never be able to understand the bond between you two, but even I know that you have a bond with her."

"Rose doesn't want to understand that," the Doctor said, and then suddenly yawned.

Martha smiled. "You're exhausted. Try and get some rest. I'll come and check up on you later."

The Doctor looked at her a bit bashful. "You take such care of me. What would I do without you?"

Martha gave him a similar smile. She didn't have an answer for him.

Martha got to her feet. "Get some rest."

The Doctor saluted her and lay down. Martha walked out of the room and pulled the door with her.

Martha walked to the console room, and entered it just as Jack and Rose came into the TARDIS. Jack had Rose's arm in a firm grip.

"Why won't you understand that the Doctor needs some peace and quiet?" he snarled at her.

"I'm his best friend," Rose snarled back at him. "I know everything about him; I'm the only one who can take care of him properly."

"Oh really...?" Jack sneered.

Jack looked up and said: "TARDIS? Can you show me a hologram of the Doctor after we rescued him?"

"Jack, what are you doing?" Martha asked.

"Proving a point…" Jack answered.

Jack released Rose's arm and pushed her forward a bit. A hologram appeared between Rose and Martha, who were on opposite ends of the console room. It was a hologram of the Doctor, lying on the stretcher, bruised and broken. Displayed before them as he was on the day they found.

Rose gasped and took a step back and bumped into Jack.

"That is what was done to him," Jack whispered menacingly in her ear. "Do you really think that you could have taken care of him when he was in that state? Leave that to the people who truly care."

And Jack turned and left the TARDIS, Martha followed him.

"Was that really necessary?" Martha asked.

"She wouldn't listen to me," Jack defended. "I tried to reason with her. I tried to tell her that there are more people in the Doctor's life than just her. But she said that she was his only true friend, the only one who could help him, the only one who truly knows him. She's completely delusional."

-x-

Rose looked at the hologram before her. The image of the Doctor was burned into her brain. The amount of damage to his body was astonishing. But she still recognized her Doctor.

Rose knew that Martha and Jack thought that she couldn't help, but she could. She was sure of it. And she knew just how to help her Doctor.

Rose walked around the hologram and walked deeper into the TARDIS. As she walked through the corridors, she heard a small sigh. Rose smiled.

Following the sound, she found a dark wooden door, slightly ajar. She pushed the door open and saw the Doctor. He was lying on his bed, asleep.

With a fond smile on her lips, Rose entered his room. See, the Doctor was fine. She knew he didn't need much sleep, but her presence always calmed him for a night of interrupted and nightmare free sleep. She walked to the bed and sat down. In his slumber the Doctor turned and was now lying on his back.

Rose reached out and caressed his upper leg. The Doctor sighed again. See, she still had been right. Her touch was working wonders on him.

Rose continued to cares his leg and the Doctor shifted slightly. And suddenly Rose knew how to make him feel even better. Though they had never done this before, Rose had been certain that their relationship would have evolved to this hadn't they been separated.

Quickly, Rose stood up and removed her shoes and jeans. She sat back down, and started to cares his leg again. Feeling bolder now that she had been proven right, she sled her hand up and touched his groin.

The response was immediate.

His bucked upwards and the Doctor's eyes flew open. Rose continued to cares him, never letting her eyes leave his.

"Rose…" he whispered.

"Ssh…" Rose shushed him, and climbed on top of him.

Grinding her body against his, she became more and more aroused. Her knickers were becoming wet, and her hand still did its business. The Doctor continued to look at her; his eyes wide.

"Rose, don't…"

"Don't worry, I won't stop…" Rose assured him.

"No, Rose… don't…" the Doctor said.

Rose's hand went to the button and zipper of the Doctor pants and opened them. And then her hand grasped him.

-x-x-

The Doctor woke from someone touching him.

It only took him a few seconds to realise that Rose was caressing his groin and wasn't being very gently about it. Time Lords were very delicate down there and she was being very rough.

"Rose…" he said.

Rose shushed him and suddenly she was straddling his upper legs. He felt her move and when he looked her in the eye he saw lust. He was sure his showed fear, but she didn't see it.

He wanted her to stop, he wanted her not do this.

"Rose, don't…"

She misunderstood him, of course she would.

"Don't worry, I won't stop…"

He tried again, but again she didn't listen and this time went a step further. She opened his pants and freed his penis.

But in his fear he couldn't shake her off, so he did the only thing he could think of; he screamed for help.

"HELP…!" he yelled.

A few moments later, he heard the sound of pounding feet coming towards him. Rose was acting like she hadn't heard his scream for help. She still had his penis in a tight grip and was stroking him, trying to get a response out of him.

"HELP ME!" he yelled again.

"Doctor," Rose crooned. "Just feel…"

The door to his room was thrown open and Jack and Martha appeared. It only took one glance from both of them.

Jack rushed forward and tore Rose from his body. Rose went down to floor kicking and screaming.

"Get off of me, Jack!" Rose screamed.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Jack said.

Rose scrambled up from the floor –Jack had dropped her there- and looked at him. "I'm the only one trying to help him feel good again."

Jack gaped at her. "Feel good again. Rose, for fuck's sake! Look at him…"

Rose did. She turned to look at the Doctor. Martha had thrown his duvet over his body and was now sitting on the floor next to him. She wasn't touching him, but still leaned in.

"Get away from him," Rose snarled at Martha. "This is your fault."

Martha squared her shoulders, but said nothing, focusing on the Doctor. "Doctor, tell me…"

"One..."

Rose looked at the two and blinked. "What the hell…?"

Martha got to her feet, and faced Jack and Rose. "Okay, let's go. He wants to be alone."

Rose gaped at her. "He shouldn't be alone right now. You never leave the Doctor alone."

Out of nowhere, the Doctor lashed out.

"ONE…!" he screamed so loudly his throat must have hurt. "ONE…ONE…ONE…"

Jack grabbed Rose from behind and was just in time to duck. The Doctor had grabbed a glass ornament form the bedside table and had flung it across the room. It smashed into a million small pieces against the wall.

Jack dragged Rose from the room as Martha followed and closed the door.

Breathing heavily outside his room, Martha placed her hand against the door as the Doctor was still screaming 'one' inside. Martha knew she would wait a few hours and then check up on him.

But first…

Martha turned to Rose…

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**This was not an easy chapter to write. It took me a while. I'm still not completely happy about it, but still... enjoy and please leave me a review? Oh, and there should be a warning for some strong language. **

_Jack dragged Rose from the room as Martha followed and closed the door._

_Breathing heavily outside his room, Martha placed her hand against the door as the Doctor was still screaming 'one' inside. Martha knew she would wait a few hours and then check up on him._

_But first…_

_Martha turned to Rose…_

_-x-x-x_

One part of Martha's mind wanted to sit down with Rose like a sensible adult and talk to her and try and understand what Rose's motivations were for doing what she did. Martha was sure Rose had a sensible –at least in the blonde's opinion- explanation. But Martha knew that Rose was going to have to come with way more than 'making him feel good again'.

The other part of Martha's mind wanted her to lash out, wanted to hit things –preferably Rose- and just beat some sense into the stupid blonde. Martha was a doctor, and hated violence, but for Rose´s stupid stunt she was willing to put her beliefs on hold; no, she was willing throw them out to window. Martha couldn't believe what Rose had done to the Doctor. Didn't she see how much pain he was in? Didn't she notice that he no longer touched anyone? That he stayed inside the TARDIS as much as possible? That he didn't go outside unless he had someone with him, or was being watched by someone he knew and trusted? And now she'd gone and done this.

With an angry glare, Martha settled her gaze on Rose. "What the hell…"

But she was interrupted by Jack. He had stepped forward and touched her shoulder. "Martha, you're bleeding." He pointed to her hairline.

Martha reached up and when she looked at her fingers, there was blood. "Doesn't matter," she said, and turned to Rose again.

"It does matter, Martha," Jack insisted. "Go and see Owen." And on Martha's pointed stare directed at Rose, Jack added, "I'll deal with this."

Rose bristled, but Martha saw that Jack paid no attention to it. He grabbed Rose once again firmly and pushed her towards the door that led to the console room. Martha looked back at the door behind her, the door that now was a shield for the Doctor from the outside world. Her heart bled for him, but now she could do nothing for him. She couldn't heal his mind, she couldn't heal his thoughts and fears. The only thing she could do for him was be there for him when he needed her and now he needed space, which she was now going to give him.

Martha walked out of the TARDIS to find Owen. She found him behind his desk, watching Jack and Rose –who were in his office- with a mixture of anger, curiosity and what Martha read as pity. Martha drew his attention.

"Owen…?"

He turned to her and immediately saw her injury. "Follow me, please?"

He patted his silver autopsy slab and Martha jumped up. "What happened?" Owen asked.

Martha shrugged. "Got hit with a piece of glass. It was an accident."

Owen looked at her. "What happened?" he asked again.

"Owen…" Martha said in an exasperated tone of voice.

"Martha…" Owen mimicked her in a childish tone.

Martha sighed.

Owen stood in front of her, and carefully cleaned the wound. "It's not deep, but I'm gonna have to put a stitch in nonetheless. So, I'm going to guess that this has something to do with Rose Tyler. Hold still please." Ever so gently, he pulled a tiny piece of glass from the wound and showed her. Martha shrugged again, Owen mimicked her again. "What did she do? Through a glass at you?"

"It wasn't Rose," Martha said.

Owen looked at her in bemusement. "It wasn't? Then who…"

"The Doctor…" Martha whispered. "But it was an accident. He probably doesn't even realise that he accidently hit me."

"He hit you?" Owen said.

"No, the Doctor would never do that," Martha assured him. "No, he was upset and threw a glass –I think it was a glass clock come to think of it- against the wall. It shattered and a small piece hit me. Like I said, accident."

Owen nodded. "And why was the Doctor upset?"

Martha remained silent, but Owen seemingly knew enough. "Rose…"

Martha still said nothing, and was glad that Owen let it slide for now. He put a stitch just under her hairline and put a small bandage over it. "There, done. You know what to do further."

Martha nodded and jumped of the autopsy slab. She squeezed his arm. "Thanks Owen."

"I'll stand by with my first-aid kit, just in case your upcoming conversation with Rose goes horribly wrong," he said with a sly smile.

Martha smiled despite herself, because that was Owen for you; he always had a sarcastic comment ready to lighten the mood.

Martha walked over to Jack's office. She passed Gwen's and Tosh's stations. The two women gave her an assuring smile, but remained silent. They had seen how Jack had dragged Rose into his office and knew what was about to happen.

Martha opened the door to Jack's office. Jack was leaning against his desk. Rose was sitting on the sofa. Martha wasted no time.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Martha demanded.

Rose bristled immediately and got to her feet. "What the hell were _you_ thinking?" she shot back.

"Excuse me?" Martha said.

"You heard me," Rose scoffed. "What were you thinking? Just barging into the Doctor's room like that! We deserved some privacy, you know!"

"Privacy?" Martha boggled. "Privacy for what –sexual assault and attempted rape?"

Rose didn't miss a beat. "Oh, please. You can't sexually assault and rape a man. Let alone an alien."

Martha looked at her. "Oh my Lord, you really believe that."

"What? It's true," Rose said.

"Let me explain something for you, Rose," Martha said, desperately trying to keep her anger and revulsion in check. "A man –and an alien- can be sexually assaulted and raped. It happened to him, and he is desperately trying to get his life back into order. And then you come along and do it to him all over again."

"I didn't do anything to him," Rose shouted. "I was just showing him a good time, and myself. After so many years apart we deserved to have that again."

"Let me ask you something," Martha said out of the blue, an eager smile on her face. "And I'm sorry for lashing out just now, I was jealous. I mean, I've craved for the Doctor's attention that he shows you and… well…" Martha ducked her head.

Martha noticed that Jack was shifting behind her, a bit uncomfortably. Martha hoped that he kept quiet.

"Of course, you were jealous," Rose said with a smug smile. "The Doctor and I have a relationship that no one can truly understand but us. "

"I know that," Martha conceded. "You share something that no one can understand. I realize that, and the only thing I've ever wanted was that share that with him too. But he never let me. He did tell me a little; you know… about his home planet Sigmafolio; about the Time War, fighting the Cybermen, watching them destroy everything he cares about; losing his family, being forced to leave his grandson David in the twenty-fifth century…"

Martha shook her head. "I'm sorry, you already know all of this. No need for me to go over it all again."

To Martha's immense pleasure, Rose waved her concerns away, there was a smile on her lips. Martha had expected it. "It doesn't matter. It just proves that the Doctor trust me a lot more than he does you because he's already told me all that matters to him."

Martha looked at Jack, and saw the knowing look in his eyes. Martha knew that Jack had realised what she was doing. And then he gave her another look. One that Martha had no problem with reading.

"I know that the Doctor cares for you," Rose continued. "It's just that he cares more for me. I know him better than anyone. He's told me everything about his life. I know him best. I know what he needs, and what he needs is to move on… with me."

Martha nodded. "That may be all well and true, but there's just one thing, just a teeny tiny thing," Martha paused and looked Rose in the eyes. And there must have been something in her –Martha's- eyes, because the slight smug look in Rose's eyes was fading a little. "Everything I told you I knew about the Doctor is a complete and utter lie."

"Like you know him better than I do," Rose muttered.

"What's the name of the Doctor's home planet?" Martha asked. From the corner of her eye she saw that Jack was now starting to move. He went to stand in the doorway, arms crossed across his chest.

Rose faltered. "You just said it yourself, Sigmafolio."

But the tone of her voice was evident that she wasn't sure about her answer.

"What was the name of the Doctor's granddaughter?" Martha asked.

Rose remained silent.

Martha was getting properly cross now, and another side of her –and it wasn't a side she like about herself- was glad that Rose didn't know the answers.

"What were the names of his very first companions? What was the name of the man who took him in after he was exiled to Earth in his third regeneration? What was that man's rank? The incarnation of the Doctor that showed up to help me, what incarnation was that? Which companion of his had a slight penchant for explosives? When the Doctor was travelling with Sarah Jane, for a brief time there was another companion; what was his name? What is the name of the Dalek home planet?"

Question after question, Martha fired at Rose. And with each question, Martha took a step forward. Rose had had no choice but to back up and was now almost on top of Jack's desk.

"You can't answer any of those questions, can you?" Martha demanded. "No, you can't because you don't care about him, you only care about the travelling, about seeing the alien sunsets and planets."

"As if you didn't care about those things…" Rose cut in.

"Of course, I cared about those things," Martha answered. "Who wouldn't. I've seen things I'll never forget. But I cared about him as a person."

"I do to," Rose implored.

"Then why did you come into my bedroom and…"

Martha turned around. The Doctor was standing in the doorway. Jack was hovering behind him. Martha had been so engrossed into trying to drill the truth into Rose's head that she hadn't heard him. The Doctor's eyes were red, and a little swollen and his nose was shining a little bit too.

"If you truly cared about me Rose, you would have stopped and taken a good hard look and would have taken the hints that Martha and Jack had given you and had backed away," the Doctor said.

Rose made her way around Martha and Martha turned with her, ready to pull the blonde away if necessary.

"You didn't talk to me," Rose implored. "We always talked about everything, but you've stopped doing that."

"Rose, don't you realise that we never talked?" the Doctor asked her.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked him.

The Doctor looked at Martha. "What was the name of my home planet?"

"Gallifrey…" Martha whispered.

"And when did I tell you the name?" he asked.

"On New Earth, our second trip together. I asked," Martha answered.

The Doctor turned back to Rose. "See, I answered Martha, because she asked. You never asked questions. Never. At one point my life revolved around you, Rose. When I met you I needed someone in my life, someone I could look out for and protect. Now _I_ need exactly that. And you can and never will be able to do that for me."

Rose blushed. "I did take care of you after your regeneration."

"No, you didn't," the Doctor said. "I checked. Mickey got me into those pyjama's. It was Jackie who kept an eye on me when I was unconscious. You just borrowed a stethoscope from the neighbour to check my hearts."

Tears started to form in Rose's eyes. "But I love you, and you love me," she tried one last time.

"No, you don't love me. You only love the fact that I have the ability to take you away from your mundane life. I don't need to tell you what happened to me. I need to do nothing. The only thing I want is to be surrounded by people I care about and trust. I do care about you, but I can't trust you."

With that, he turned around and left Jack's office. Jack quickly sidestepped to let him past and then stepped back into Rose's way. Rose seemingly realised that Jack wasn't going to let her go after the Doctor, and once again Rose turned to Martha.

"This is your fault," she snarled.

Martha sighed. "_Here we go again_," she muttered. "Listen Rose, because I'm only going to say it once. The Doctor was kidnapped, and hurt brutally. Right now, he's healing from that. He wants to heal with the people he knows and trusts around him. He will heal in his own time, not because you want him to quickly. I have no say in his healing rate, only he does. He heals the way he wants to. And you will not interfere with that. I will have Owen sedate you and Jack lock you up before you will even have the chance to do a stupid thing."

Martha made her way out the office. "Oh, and if you go anywhere near the Doctor without my presence of Jack's, I'll sedate and lock you up myself."

Jack laughed, and allowed Martha to leave his office. Rose glared at him, he glared back.

Martha found the Doctor underneath the Rift manipulator, staring up at it, with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He was visibly shaking.

"You heard everything, didn't you?" Martha asked.

He nodded and turned to face her. "You're hurt." He reached out tentatively.

Martha intercepted his hand. "I'm fine…"

"I did that to you…" the Doctor whispered.

"Doctor, I'm fine," Martha assured him. "It was an accident."

The Doctor nodded, but still not completely reassured; Martha could tell.

"Will you come with me?" he asked.

"Where to…?" Martha asked.

"I like to call it Pete's World…"

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm back! Finally! I am SO sorry for leaving you guys alone for so long. I just couldn't write, couldn't make myself open the file to write! But here it is finally: a new chapter!Enjoy! **

* * *

Jackie Tyler sighed as she dried her hands on the dishcloth and leaned against the counter. Her little boy Tony, now three years old, was sitting at the table behind her, happily colouring in a book. He looked up at her sigh.

"Mummy okay?" he asked.

She turned to face him. "Mummy is fine," she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.  
Because no, she wasn't fine. She missed her daughter, her Rose. Jackie knew that she was never going to see her again. Rose had been quite clear about that; she was going back to the Doctor, her rightful place and she was not coming back, ever.

Jackie had always known that she would someday loose her daughter. But never like this. Her, stuck in another dimension, her daughter traveling around space and time with an alien. Sometimes it boggled her mind. If someone had told her six years ago, that she would meet an alien, discovering that said alien wasn't the only one, that in another dimension her Pete was still alive and that now she was married to him again and with another child she would have called the doctors. But here she was. With Pete and her little boy, but without her daughter.

She couldn't really blame Rose for wanting to go back to the Doctor. He could give her what she couldn't, a thrilling life. Rose's life with her had been boring. The Doctor could give her anything. Jackie had hoped that Rose would accept Pete as her father, but the only she'd ever wanted from him was money; money for that canon thing.

During her daughter's travels with the Doctor, Jackie only had one fear; that the Doctor would bring home a corpse. And on the rare occasion that the two visited -always on the Doctor's insistence she found out- Rose always wanted to leave again as soon as possible. Rose was distancing herself from her mother and the Doctor did all he could to bring her back to Jackie as often as possible.

On one occasion -it was after their return from an impossible planet as the Doctor called it- the Doctor told her that they had come very close of being trapped there, because the Tardis had been swallowed up by the planet. And Rose's only concern was wether the Doctor could build another Tardis. Not that she was trapped too, not that she could die here, not that the only constant in the Doctor's life, his Tardis, was gone, not even Jackie; no, it was just the traveling, seeing the stars. Nothing else.

Sometimes she wondered were she'd gone wrong with Rose. When she was a child, she was always cheery, always polite, but when she hit her teenage years, Rose became a nightmare to life with. Nothing was ever good enough, and she never got anything she wanted. So she batted her eyelids and made a lot of different guys buy it for her. And then she met him, she met the one special guy. If she could truly get him, she would be special for the rest of her life.

But Jackie knew that that was the one thing that the Doctor had never allowed. After the impossible planet thing, Rose had gone out dancing with friends, and left the Doctor and Jackie alone and for once Jackie had voiced her fears.

She had asked him straight to his face if he was sleeping with her daughter. The Doctor had smiled, put his hands on her shoulders and said one thing: "I've travelled with a lot of people before Rose. I have never and will never sleep with someone I'm travelling with. That is a line I will never cross."  
Jackie had believed him, there had been an honesty in his eyes that told her that he wasn't lying.

"But..." Jackie said.

The Doctor had nodded. He knew what she wanted to ask. He had said one word: never.

Shaking her head, Jackie pulled her thoughts from the past and concentrated on the present. There was no sense in thinking about the past, she couldn't change it -nor did she want to-, she liked her life now. She had Pete back, she had her little boy, and as shallow as it was, she never would have money problems again. She could Tony anything and never safe up money before being able to buy him some new clothes. That had been a tough adjustment on her part. After she and Pete had gotten back together properly he had given her a credit card and had told her to buy what she liked. At first she had been reluctant, still buying when stuff was on sale and thus cheaper. She now bought stuff she really liked for full price, but still bought more when it was on sale -to Pete's immense amusement.

Jackie turned as Peter came into the kitchen. She quickly glanced at the clock.

"You're home early," she said as she offered him her cheek for her kiss. "I wasn't expecting you for another two hours."

Pete shrugged. "It was a slow day, and thought I'd come home a little earlier." He gave a kiss.

Jackie smiled. "That's nice of you."

She turned back to the counter and sighed. Pete stood behind her and put his arms around her waist.

"I know you miss Rose," he whispered in her ear. Jackie could only nod. "I know that I've said a thousand times already, but Rose wasn't happy here. She knew that she would only be happy with the Doctor."

Jackie gave a snort.  
"What...?" Pete asked a bit bemused.

Jackie turned in his arms, so she was facing him. "Yes, you're right. The Doctor is the only one who can make her happy, but not in the way she wants."

Pete looked at her, not getting it. "Rose wants more from him that he is willing to give." Jackie clarified.

Pete nodded in understanding. "Really...?"

Jackie nodded. "The Doctor will never cross that line."

"Are you sure?" Pete asked.

Jackie nodded once again. "He assured..."

She was interrupted by a noise. A noise she'd thought she would never hear again. She looked at Pete, asking him only with her eyes if she was imaging it. She wasn't, because Pete let her go. Jackie made a dash for the door as Pete lifted Tony from his chair and followed her outside.

"Where... where..." Jackie muttered. She let her eyes roam across the acres of ground before her. Willing the blue box to appear.

And then it did.

The box became solid and Jackie ran towards it. Th door opened and the Doctor stepped out. Jackie came to a stop in front of him.

"Doctor..." she breathed. And suddenly she didn't know what to say. There was something wrong. The look in his eyes was different and there was a scar on his jaw that she didn't remember being there. "What's wrong?"

The Doctor gave her a weak smile. "Nothing for you to worry about. I'm better now."

Jackie reluctantly nodded, not believing him. "What are you doing here?"

"Returning Rose to you."

Jackie gasped and covered here mouth. The Doctor turned around and pushed the door to the Tardis open. "Jack...?"

Jackie was shocked even more when Jack came out, holding Rose's elbow in a tight grip, pulling her with him. Behind Jack was a dark skinned woman, about twenty-three years of age. All three came out.  
The dark skinned woman nodded in greeting, and moved to stand beside the Doctor. Jack pushed Rose forward, releasing his grip. Rose stumbled a little, Jack did nothing. Immediately Jackie noticed the tension in the air.

"What's going on?" Jackie asked, dreading the answer.

The Doctor sighed, but Rose was quick in answering. "I'll tell you what's going on! That bitch is taking my rightful place!" Rose pointed to the other woman.

"Rose...!" Jackie screamed.

"What? It's true! I came back and found that bitch in my Doctor's bed. My rightful place!" Rose screamed.

Jack stepped forward and grabbed her arm. "Shut up, Rose. And don't you dare call Martha a bitch. She's done nothing to you and she's certainly not sleeping with the Doctor."

Rose pulled her arm free, as Martha smiled. Rose rounded on her. Jackie and the two men backed away. Jackie because she realised that she wanted to know what was going on; the two men because they knew that Martha could handle herself.

"What are you smiling about?" Rose demanded.  
Martha looked at her, shot the Doctor a glance and then looked back at the blonde. "well, I did sleep with the Doctor actually. The literal sense not the figurative kind."

Rose clenched her fists at Martha's remark. "How dare you?"

Martha scoffed. "Listen Rose, I've had it up to here with you. I'm the Doctors friend, we've been to hell and back together and what you're doing isn't helping him. This is Doctor's show, not ours."  
With those final words, Martha turned to the Doctor. "I'll wait in the Tardis for you."

The Doctor nodded.

"I can't be around you anymore, Rose," he whispered. "I just can't. You have to stay here, create a new life for yourself and let me go."

Rose shook her head. "I'll never let you go, never!"

But the Doctor ignored her and turned to Pete. "Are you still in charge at Torchwood? Destroy everything pertaining that canon. If Rose ever uses it again she will destroy all creation in every dimension. It has to be destroyed and never created again."

Jackie turned around fast enough to see that Pete nodded. "This is really the last time that I'm going to see you, isn't it?" she whispered to the Doctor.

With sad eyes, the Doctor nodded.

"No...no...NO..." Rose screamed. "You will not leave again!"

The Doctor turned to her. "You cause me pain, Rose. I can no longer be around you."

And with those words he looked at Jack, who nodded and turned back to Jackie. He leaned in and whispered in her ear: "get her help."

With tears in her eyes, Jackie hugged him goodbye. To her surprise, the Doctor went rigid. She released him, the Doctor pressed an envelop in her hand. Jackie nodded. Without looking at Rose, the Doctor walked to the Tardis.

"You CAN'T...!" Rose screamed a final time.

Followed by Jack the Doctor entered the Tardis, never looking back. Jack closed the door.

Rose ran to the Tardis and started screaming. Her words made no sense as she pounded on the doors. But it had no affect; slowly the Tardis vanished, leaving Rose behind.

**TBC**

****On a quick side note: I really want to communicate more with you guys. So please find me on twitter: FF_Dutchlady

I hope to see you there


	20. Chapter 20

**I hope that this chapter explains the Doctor's behaviour. Please leave a review?**

Dear Jackie,

First, I wanted to apologise to you. I know it is an odd way to start a letter, but I felt that I must. I want to apologise for my behaviour when I returned Rose to you. It is just that I can no longer be in her presence and feel safe.

Please allow me to explain.

After you and Rose got stuck in this dimension, a lot has happened to me. Too much actually.

Seconds after my hologram disappeared from Bad Wolf Bay a bride appeared in my Tardis. I turned around and there she was, in full bridal glory, veil and all. At first I didn't want her there, it felt like the universe was already forcing me to replace Rose way too soon. Yes, replace, that is how I felt at that moment.

Rose had ingrained herself onto me. Especially in this regeneration. It is not something I'm proud to admit, but it felt like I needed her presence to feel alive again. I used her presence to ignore proper life. Oh, I still did all the stuff I used to in the past, but somehow in Rose's presence it became easier to function, and it felt like that as long as she was with me, I didn't have to deal.

Meeting Donna -the bride- helped, because she was so loud. Her loudness screamed away my pain, at least temporary. When I dropped Donna off at her house, I asked her to travel with me, but she said no, because I terrified her. But she did insist that I find someone to travel with me, because she thought that if I had someone with me I wouldnt do bad things, that person could stop me.

Deep down I knew she had a point, but I never expected Martha.

When I met Martha, all I did at first was push her away every chance I got. I lied to her, I was rude to her, and compared her to Rose -God, I even said that out loud to her: Rose would know. But the moment it clicked for me, the moment I realised all she wanted was my acknowledgement of who she was, was in a dirty alley, sitting on crummy chairs. She listened to me, I mean really listened, like you always did, Jackie. Martha and I sat in that alley and she listened to my pain, as I unburdened some of it. And she absorbed it all, and held the knowledge in her heart and never brought it up again.

And still I felt like I was betraying Rose. All the things I told Martha, why had I never told Rose? Because maybe I felt instinctively that Martha would always keep my secrets, something I know Rose could never do. I know Rose would have used her knowledge as leverage over me.

Slowly, over time, as Martha and I travelled the universe, I started to realise that I was doing myself a great disservice. By clinging onto Rose's memory, I forgot to move on. It was only after a rather nasty event on a starship fantastically named Brilliant, where I actually thought that Martha had died -and as few weeks later in the wild west, where she did in fact almost died- I realised that I hadn't thought of Rose in months.

After months and months of missing her, without realising it, I had moved on. I saw the joy of life again and Martha had helped me to do that. Martha won me over with her bravery, compassion, honesty, kindness and her heart; and even more traits that I regret to say that Rose doesn't posses.

I know that sounds cruel, Jackie, but what I've through over the past two years...

I know that this will sound more cruel, but I know that I that I had the right friend in Martha at the right time. Rose would have done the wrong things, I know she would have.

Martha and I had been found by four entities called the Family. They wanted me, my remaining regeneration energy so they could live forever. So I did the only thing i could, I hid. I became a human, a simple human in 1913. And Martha kept me safe. I was horrible to her, her surroundings were horrible to her, but she endured it all.

Martha is so much braver then Rose.

She truly showed her bravery when the impossible happened: the Master. A Time Lord like me had survived the war, someone whom I grew up with and know very well had survived. Only problem is that the Master is a psychopath. Not something that is easy to say, but there it is. He always said that we were different sides to the same coin. I traveled the universe to see it, to explore it and learn more, he just wants to rule it.

The Master took over Earth. He beat me at my own game, he imprisoned me along with Martha's family and left the Earth in chaos. Martha was the only one who could stop him, but in order to do that she had to leave me and her family.

Now asks yourself this, Jackie: if the fate of the Earth -quite possibly the universe- would Rose have left me to carry out my plan? Would she? I think we both know the answer.

Martha did do it, she left and saved the world. For a year, she was brave and strong, and saved the world. And then she did the bravest thing imaginable, she walked out of the Tardis, and stayed on Earth with her family who had gone through hell. And I didn't blame her for one second.

Then it happened.

While I was traveling with Donna, when we were on Earth, I was kidnapped. For eight months, I endured every torture you can imagine. And Martha found me, and to the best of her ability healed me. I owe her everything.

Rose came back and expected everything to be just as she left it. Me as upbeat as ever, waiting to go and be silly across the universe. But what she found was a broken man, and she couldn't deal with it. She didn't even acknowledge it. She brushed it off as unimportant. That she didn't care is something that I almost expected from her, but I never expected her to come into my room and assault me.

Yes, Jackie, she assaulted me. I was tortured for eight months, and raped as well and then Rose went and did it too. I was disgusted. Jack and Martha had to physically drag her from my body and they threw her from my room. I haven't been alone with her since, because I am now afraid of her.

I know that I can never explain things properly but with brutally honest letter I hope that you understand how important it is that Rose should never return to this universe. Not only could she destroy universes, but she just doesn't understand that I don't want and need her around me anymore.

I apologise Jackie for just dumping her with you and leaving you with the problem, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. I just wanted her to go away.

I hope that I explained my cold way. I'm sorry if you still don't understand, but we will never see each other again, and this is the best I can do. I'll probably go back to travelling, eventually. But nothing will ever be the same for me. I look over my shoulder every second, and trust no one. Only Martha.

I hope you are happy in your new life, Jackie, and continue to be so.

Goodbye, the Doctor.

Jackie sighed and brushed away a tear as she folded the letter and put it back in the envelop. Pete reached out and took her hand.

"Did he explain?" he asked.

Jackie nodded. "So much pain. I understand, he just wants it to stop. And Rose gives him more pain; pain he can't deal with, not anymore."

Pete nodded in understanding. He didn't know what to say. What could he say? So he said nothing and held his wife as she cried for her friend. He just prayed that this Martha could help the Doctor.

TBC


End file.
